Women Can Turn Anything Into a Sexy Halloween Costume
Halloween is creeping around the corner. Stores have already set up huge displays of sexy costumes for women to choose from. I expect to see the typical sexy nurse, cop and bunny but you never really know these days because women really can turn any idea into a sexy costume.
As I searched for costume ideas, I came across some of the most ridiculous costumes that women buy for outrageous prices. You want to be a sexy shark? Okay, that will cost you about $130, if you buy it online! I still think making it yourself is the better deal and you get to make crazy stuff! I bet many girls will be wearing some of these outfits to our KLAQ Haunted House. Here are my picks for ideas that shouldn’t be made into sexy costumes.
Nothing says sexy like a big bulky beer tap costume! Unless you can actually pour beer out of this outfit, you should just save your money. Plus, you wont have to hear any of those lame “I’d tap that” pick up lines.
Sexy George Washington will take out her wooden teeth for your pleasure. Beards, powdered wigs and big coats should be left in past and historical figures should be off limits for sexy costumes. Baberham Lincoln is still my favorite sexy president idea but it’s so wrong!
Children’s Book Characters
We grew up with these cute characters that mommy used to read to us before bedtime but now women have found a way to make them sexy! Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat doesn’t seem like something many men imagine taking home on Halloween night. Nothing about The Cat in the Hat, Clifford or any children’s book characters should be sexy. Get ready to ruin childhoods ladies.
Women might be taking “Eat Me” to a whole new level by thinking it’s cute to be a ear of corn, a hamburger or even a pineapple. Do you have no creativity that you just decide to be whatever you had for lunch? I would accept dressing up like those chicks that put sushi all over there body because that’s just freakin’ cool!
Mean Girls explained the formula for girls dressing up as animals for Halloween, “the hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears”. It’s the easiest costume to put together short notice but it also reminds me of bestiality…Google it. This year’s hot animal costume is the MC Hamster from those Kia Soul commercials and I have no idea why.
Sesame Street Characters
Trash can monsters just scream sexy…to pedophiles. I really doubt Oscar the Grouch is the ideal childhood character kids had dirty dreams about but if you want to look trashy, then this is perfect. Costumes are also available if you want to tempt straight guys with America’s favorite gay puppet couple, Bert and Ernie. Do you have no souls costume designers?
Who doesn’t love to play board games? That’s right, everyone with a smart phone. Some people wear a Twister costume because they make it sexy by putting their right hand on some kind of sexual body part or create an Operation game because they want to annoy everyone with their buzzer. Scrabble is really boring in my opinion so I don’t know how this was a good idea. If the idea is out of date or no one likes the game in real life, don’t try to make it sexy.
Dead girls can’t say no so that’s probably why men love zombies. Women add a little creativity to zombie outfits by giving them occupations such as nurse, cop or even cheerleader but zombies are suppose to be scary not sexy. If you’re into necrophilia then go ahead and get zombified! The little girl from The Walking Dead is one of this year’s hot costumes but I think the idea of turning a rotting little girl into a sexy flesh eating monster is just wrong on so many levels.
The American Flag
A symbol of freedom so precious to many Americans of course will be turned into a sexy costume because women can! If you scream ‘Merica, I bet this is your dream come true.
If you want to make old ladies cry, then this is the costume for you! Nuns are the total opposite of sexy but we still found a way to make them slutty. Just cut off some material to the dress, grab a bible and you are ready to hit the bar! I’m surprised that this is a popular costume and not an altar boy.