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Woman Name Crystal Metheny Arrested But Not For What You Think

This has to be the most unfortunate name out there. Other than Edward Cocaine.

Polk County Sheriff's Office
Polk County Sheriff’s Office

A woman named Crystal Metheny was arrested in Florida (where else?) for shooting off an offensive missile into a vehicle back in May, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. She was arrested, then released on a $5,000 bond the next day. When you first hear “missile,” you might think immediately of a rocket being launched into a tiny sedan. But in reality, a “missile” could be defined as a “stone or any other hard substance,” so she may not be as awesome as we assumed, launching rockets into people’s cars.

The most surprising thing to me about this story was that no drugs were involved in the arrest. Well, at least this one. In 2012, Crystal Metheny was arrested for a marijuana possession charge. So, at least we know she is into some types of drugs. Just not crystal meth.

Jezebel writer Mark Shrayber called the Polk County Sheriff’s Office to confirm that Crystal Metheny was her actual name, and was told by a spokesperson, “Sir, this is Florida. We have a lot of interesting names here.” Ain’t that the truth.

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