What Not To Ask Flight Attendants

The holidays are coming and lots of folks will be traveling.  Here are a few tips from a flight attendant that could make your trip smoother.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are among the most heavily traveled times of the year and as the lines and delays get long, tempers get short.  According to an article at yahoo.com, here are a few questions you may want to keep to yourself.  Unless you want to find yourself in line for a cavity search.

1. “Am I going to make my connection?”

Well, let’s see… we just collected your empty cup, it’s 1:15 p.m., and your connecting flight leaves at 1:20 p.m. Let’s shake the old Magic 8 Ball here aaaaaaand … signs point to “No.”

2. “Why can’t I use the first-class bathroom?”

Because if we let anyone just use it, it wouldn’t be the first-class bathroom.

3. “Why do I have to check my bag?”

Simple. This entire plane if full of jerks who stuffed the overhead bins with winter coats and pet rock collections. Maybe they’ll all chip in for your bag fee.

4. “Do you know if this meal is gluten free?”

The answer to this question is always “yes.” That “sensitivity” to gluten, it’s in your head.

5. “Why isn’t there a movie, Wi-Fi, or entertainment?”

Because there’s not. If you take a look at our inflight magazine, however, you’ll find a lovely list of America’s best steakhouses and a flattering profile of Wichita. We hear Kansas is beautiful this time of year.