Tonight, Republican VP candidate Mike Pence will debate his democratic counterpart Tim Kaine. They will debate at Longwood University in Virginia. Longwood is an actual university despite being the perfect name for a fictional college for a porno with a campus theme.

To effectively watch tonight's scintillating VP debate, you'll need to be prepared. Here are a few methods you might think about using. I've included the Pros and Cons for each.


  • Pros: Legal. Can be introduced to the bloodstream through many popular beverages.
  • Cons: May be to wired to go to sleep after this snoozefest  is over.


  • Pros: As with everything in life, wagering on the outcome makes things 100 times more interesting.
  • Cons: No one knows or cares enough about these two empty suits to come up with any compelling bets.

Psych Yourself Up

  • Pros: Tell yourself "If I can actually pay attention to the entire VP debate I'll reward myself by finally  getting that _______ I've always wanted.
  • Cons: You'll NEVER get that f---ing _____________.


  • Pros: Effective. You WILL stay awake for the debate.
  • Cons: Highly illegal. Also, known to result in what is now being called "The Trump Sniffle."