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Jessica Simpson Gives Birth, Surprisingly Not to an Elephant – Top Tweets

Jessica Simpson
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After being pregnant for about 3 years, Jessica Simpson finally gave birth this morning. Oddly, we haven't heard any reports that her newborn baby was born with floppy ears and a trunk. Huh. While the celebrity world was quick to issue congratulations to the new parents, we found some people on Twitter who said what we were all thinking. Here they are:

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Josh Hara (@yoyoha): Today is the first day Jessica Simpson's friends felt comfortable congratulating her on being pregnant.

 
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Brandon Gutermuth (@UNTRESOR): I heard Paula Deen acted as mid wife for Jessica Simpson, utilizing three gallons of "Mama's Secret Dilatin' Buttah" and a lard epidural.

 
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Jonas Polsky (@JonasPolsky): Jessica Simpson's body doesn't lactate, it creates ice cream.

 
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Alex Baze (@bazecraze): I heard Jessica Simpson's baby was 8 pounds, 4,079 ounces.

 
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Shira (@shiraselko): Jessica Simpson's baby chews her own food and spits it back into her mom's mouth.

 
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Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5): Jessica Simpson has already taught her daughter everything she knows.

 
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Gabriel S (@HotEats): Jessica Simpson is the Cal Ripken Jr. of being pregnant

 
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Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit): Still time for you guys to get in on my "What's inside Jessica Simpson?" pool. I've got $20 on "old-timey piano."

 
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Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett): Congratulations to Jessica Simpson on the birth of her new publicity.

 

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