How You Can See ‘Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens’ Two Days Early

Seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens two days early would be a dream come true for me. Going to France is my ultimate nightmare. These two conflicting scenarios have collided with the force of a thousands Death Stars. Air France has announced that they are offering packages for U.S. citizens to travel to (shudder) ... France ... to catch a screening of the movie two days before it's official U.S. release on Dec. 18.

On the one hand, I do love Star Wars. On the other hand ... ugh! France!

Do Air France pilots have the backbone of American pilots? I don't want to be flying over the North Atlantic at 40,000 feet and have my pilot "surrender" to some minor turbulence and bail out.

What about the movie experience? Do they even have popcorn in France? What if the only snacks are snails and truffles? I don't want my Star Wars experience ruined by having a soda with NO ICE!

Here's the link to the Air France promotion. You might notice that nowhere in the offer do they actually mention the words "Star" or "Wars." When they say you can "catch the most expected movie" I hope they're not talking about a Jerry Lewis career retrospective. That sounds like something Pierre would try to pull.