Help Us Figure Out What the U.S. Open Sex Talkers Were Saying
On Friday's live coverage of the U.S. Open there was a hot mic incident. Sometimes a uni-directional microphone is held from the area where the fans are standing. Sometimes that's the closest the mics are allowed to the golfers and it give some natural "ambiance".
I don't think this is the kind of ambiance that Fox was going for, though. During the middle of Joe Buck's laid back commentary, the mic picked up a snippet of conversation between two fans who were talking about sex. In very graphic detail. Very graphic, UNCENSORED detail.
I'm linking you to the video but I'll warn you now: if you have your speakers on you will here a guy talking about his sexual exploits. After the video, I'll post a transcript of the things we could make out. There's one segment, though, where the fan starts talking about a specific sex position. All the transcripts I've seen can't make out the name of the sex position, though. They all say (unintelligible) or (garbled talking) or something to that effect. Let's see if anybody out there has super sex-hearing and can crack the mystery of the U.S. Open Sex-talk Bros.
Here's my shot at a transcription:
Guy 1: " (unintelligible)....my ex."
GUY 2: "Yeah. She's hot."
GUY 1: "That when I f...when when we were [expletive] so hard that I head-butted her in the head."
GUY 2: "Yeah, sure."
GUY 1: "Nah, I (unintelligible). I smacked that [expletive] down."
GUY 2: "Yeah, what actually happened (indistinct), pal?"
GUY 1: " No, but, straight up we went...kind of did it in the (unintelligible) position. I was laying down. She was on top."
JOE BUCK: " Second shot for the Masters champion..."
So, the unintelligible part we're wondering about was when Guy 1 says, "kind of did it in the (????) position".
He then goes on to say, "I was laying down. She was on top" before they clipped the mic and threw it back to Joe Buck at the main broadcast booth.
Guy 1 is describing the "Cowgirl" position, but it doesn't sound like "Cowgirl". Can you make it out, given the context?
Actually, I think in the course of listening to the clip while writing this, I have it figured out. Only read the next paragraph if you've given up because I think I've got it.
*SPACE SO YOU DON'T SEE THE REVEAL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO*
OK, here's what I think I've figured out. Guy 1 says....
"kind of did it in the LOTUS position".
I looked up "lotus position" on Google and it's apparently it's a yoga pose. But, then, I Googled "Lotus position sex" and I got this.
So, if that's the sexual meaning of "lotus position" I can see how you might accidentally head-butt your partner.
And, so....MYSTERY SOLVED, I think!