Denver is Freaking Out Over a Serial Panty Thief

The “Panty Raid” is a unique part of Americana from a simpler, rapey-er time.

It started as a “fad” in the 1950s: male college students would attempt to invade the living quarters of female co-eds to steal their underwear as trophies.

As creepy and illegal as that sounds (and that’s how it DOES sound), the panty raid soon became a nostalgic call-back to the ’50s, enshrined in such wholesome family fare as “Happy Days”, “Revenge of the Nerds” and possibly the weirdest episode of “Spongebob Squarepants” ever.

Denver, Colorado is in the grip of a modern-day panty-raider and it sounds like the good folks of the Mile High City have good reason to be creeped out.

A man has been breaking into homes in the Park Hill neighborhood and stealing women’s intimate apparel. Locals have dubbed him, “The Park Hill Panty Thief”.

This may seem kind of funny, almost nostalgic…but people, especially women, in the neighborhood say they are terrified in their own homes. Victims say the panty thief passed over items that burglars are usually after…jewelry, silverware, electronics…and went straight for the underwear drawer. Many of them say they feel like their homes were “staked out” by the prowler in advance.

It seems like the Park Hill Panty Thief a.) works alone and b.) tries to rob homes when he thinks no one is home. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been seen. Some of the victims say they encountered the bandit on one or more of his raids.

One victim told KDVR-TV that her roommate (also female) confronted the robber. There’s one other bizarre detail: “He had something in his mouth…and it was a sexual toy”. That same witness says the panty bandit returned about three weeks later and was captured on her security camera. You can see the photos and more of the eerie reports at kdvr.com.

I completely understand that some people (not Texans) are not comfortable keeping a firearm next to their bedside. For those people, I have only two words: bear trap.