This is a Facebook post on my wall today from someone who was upset that we talked about the Super Bowl without giving a Spoiler Alert.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?



I'm only going to do these "Are You Freakin' Kidding Me" posts in cases where I actually think the person, because of the extreme ridiculousness of their concern, may, in fact, be joking around. For the purposes of these posts I shall assume that you are being serious.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!?!

This is the mother-loving Super Bowl!!! The one topic that people are going to be discussing more than any other all day long today!  You mean you want me to avoid the biggest topic on the planet because you haven't had time to catch up on your TIVO queue? It's not like I'm giving out the ending of a movie that just opened on Friday. It's the Super Bowl, for the love of Mike!! Should I also avoid doing the news for a few days because you haven't watched had time to watch Brian Williams???

As far as the commercials go...they're commercials!!  You're going to see them hundreds of times, whether you want to or not. Also, they've all been on line for the past six weeks. Jesus.

I will respect the courtesy of the Spoiler Alert, but only in certain circumstances and for a set period of time. Sporting events are not subject to the Spoiler Courtesy Rule.

Neither are TV shows. Next Monday, I'm going to be talking about what happened the night before on Walking Dead.  I will say "I'm going to talk about the Walking Dead now" but that's all you get Spoiler-wise.

Movies are a different matter because I don't expect everyone to go see a movie the first week it comes out. But there is a statute of limitations. I'm not going to avoid Ilsa leaving Rick to go with her husband because you haven't found time to watch Casablanca in the past 70 years.

I'll give you 6-8 weeks or until the movie is no longer in theaters. Sorry, but that's just how I roll.

Also, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, Verbal Kint was Kaiser Soze, Rosebud was his sled, and Tyler Durden was a figment of Edward Norton's imagination. BAM!