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9 Old-Timey Ads That Were Clearly Selling Dildos

My mom used to get the Fingerhut catalog in the mail 4 times a year. It always had products that appealed to older folks like the glass bird filled with some kind of liquid that made it look like the bird was drinking.

This little effer

The ad that always cracked me up was for the Oster Cordless Massager. It featured an elderly woman with a look of absolute rapture on her face rubbing her neck with an object that was clearly meant to be used on her cooter. I was unable to find that particular ad, but I found plenty of others from the forties thru the eighties that are obviously instruments of sexual gratification.

The best part, of course, is that these ads would appear, not in “stag” magazines, but in publications like Harriet Carter and Vermont Country Stores. So, you could buy your battery-powered sex toy from the same catalog that you bought your Burpee tomato seeds.

“Give it to her”?? More like she’s going to give it to herself pal.  Also, note that the name of the company is Gran Prix Enterprises and not Grand Pricks Enterprises.

Let’s take a closer look at that thing…

Using it on your neck and foot. How long do you think it will take before “milady” figures out that she should split the difference?

Sadly, this was the closest any woman ever came to giving a BJ before 1966.

Ladies, your oyster will love Oster! Also known as the Poon Pounder.

 

In case you’re wondering, yes, even the 12″ Massager only came in white.

Did the clitoris used to be located on the side of the neck back in the olden days??

 

If you look closely, you’ll notice this ad is right next to an ad for a product for your cat. Who knew women took such good care of their pussies back in the day?

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