10 Benefits To Having a Robotic Boyfriend
After seeing a rather creepy prototype of a robot girlfriend, we started thinking: would women go for a robotic boyfriend?
Maybe, maybe not. A mechanical man would certainly have some advantages. Here are 10 we came up with:
- He can be custom-ordered. Some women go for tall, dark and handsome men, while others prefer more wholesome, boy-next-door types. Pick your pleasure and at least you know he’ll never go bald. (Unless you’re into that.)
- He doesn’t have any family. No more uncomfortable questions from the in-laws about giving them grandchildren. Yippee!
- You only have to tell him things once. Need milk from the store or a pick-up from the dry cleaners? Program it in — and you’re done.
- He sleeps when you want him to. If you need a little alone-time or want to go shopping with your friends, just power him down. He’ll never know the difference.
- He’s there when you need him. Speaking of shopping, sometimes you need a work-horse to carry around all those bags, freeing you up for unburdened browsing. He’ll comply with a smile.
- Sexy-time is on your terms. Need him to go all night? He has unlimited stamina and knows exactly what, um, pushes your buttons. On the other hand, if you just want to cuddle, he’ll never complain.
- His interest in sports is at your whim. Maybe you love football but baseball bores you, or maybe you couldn’t care less about any of it. His interests are yours!
- His eyes will never stray. You may have put on a few pounds over the holidays, but who cares? Your robot boyfriend will always think you’re the most gorgeous woman on the planet.
- He’ll always fit in. Whether it’s a kegger or an Oscar soiree, he’ll effortlessly know just what to wear and just how to act.
- Breaking up with him is painless. If you decide you want to go back to plain old flesh-and-blood guys, you can easily dispatch him. He doesn’t have any feelings, so — unless there’s a wiring mishap at the factory — you won’t wind up a statistic on the evening news.
Even though women complain a lot about human men, we secretly prefer them — human flaws and all.