Star Trek Beyond: More Plot Holes Than the Galaxy Has Stars [SPOILERS]

I'm going to bash the new Star Trek movie but before I do I just want to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it for the two hours I was in the theater. Then, for the next 6 hours all I could think about was how little sense it made.

I know, I've heard people tell me to just "suspend disbelief" and enjoy the movie. This goes way beyond that, though. These are basics gaps in storytelling that I, as a consumer and fan, find intolerable.

Needless to say, this is full of SPOILERS and, besides, won't make any sense to anyone who hasn't already seen the movie. With that said...

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1.) The villain, Krall, turns out to be an earthman who was stranded 100 years ago on a deserted planet. How does he get the literally millions of henchmen who help him take down the Enterprise??

2.) Krall is an earthman pretending to be an alien. Why does he keep up his fake alien accent even when it's just him talking to his crony?? Couldn't he just drop the pretend accent when there were no enemies around to hear??

3.) Jaylah, a friendly alien, keeps her "home" from being found by Krall by using advanced cloaking technology. But, in the final act, it's revealed that her "home" was actually Krall's ship all along. Wouldn't he know where his own ship crash landed?

4.) Why, exactly does Krall look like an alien species? Is it a disguise?? Has he been disfigured in some way??? I feel like there was some important scene that must have been left out that explained all this.

5.) When Krall reveals his true form he is wearing his 100+ year old Federation uniform. Do those things last that long? If so, why did he bother keeping it since he hated the Federation so much? Does it smell really bad or did he have a very trustworthy washer-woman whose kept his secret all this time.

6.) Also, how did Kirk and Uhura figure out who Krall actually was? They watch a video of the ancient crew but in it he doesn't look anything like his alien form.

7.) Again, everything is way too fucking convenient. This has been a big problem with the Star Trek reboot since 2009. In that movie, Kirk is marooned on a desolate ice planet and the first cave he wanders into just so happens to be where old-future-Spock is hanging out. In this new movie, the Enterprise is destroyed by Krall's swarm fleet and escape pods are jettisoned. This happens well outside the planet's atmosphere. Yet, when the action switches to the planet surface, all of the principal characters are in roughly the same neighborhood. This would be the equivalent of throwing a baseball out of the International Space Station and having it land on the roof of your house. As I say, suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

8.) Why are the Beastie Boys so popular 300 years in the future?? Kirk rocks out to "Sabotage" in the 2009 movie and the same song is found to be on Jaylah's playlist on board the 100 year old wreck. That means that the Beastie Boys are not only inexplicably popular during Kirk's life, but also 100 years before. This would be like if multiple people today were really into sea shanties from the early 1700's. Not listening to them as historical curiosities, but actually rocking out to them while going about their daily lives. Also, why is "Sabotage" still popular but not "Brass Monkey"??

9.) Violent explosions usually kill you, but in Star Trek: Beyond they basically serve to get you to where you're going faster. If you were to actually be close enough to an explosion that was strong enough to propel your body through the air, your vital organs would probably be jellified. At the very least, your ear-drums would burst and you'd suffer a severe concussion. In this movie, the protagonist just ride the crest of explosion after explosion like it ain't no thang. Maybe 1 time out of 10,000 someone would survive a body-tossing explosion without permanent damage. I propose that, going forward, you only get to ride a concussive blast ONE TIME PER MOVIE! Whether you're being Faster and Furiouser or Avengering, once per movie is enough. Not even Wile E. Coyote survives as many up-close explosions as Kirk and crew do in this movie.

10.) Why is Krall's (and Jaylah's, for that matter) so much more advanced than the Federation? Krall's swarm is able to take down a Constitution Class Starship even though he's been basically marooned on a deserted planet for over a century. Jaylah uses some kind of digital cloning technology that baffles all of these Federation geniuses, including Scotty, even though we learn she's been abandoned and alone since childhood.

That's not all I've got but it seems like enough to make my point. I did enjoy the movie, though, right up to the point that I actually started thinking about it.