New Study Shows Sexual Frustration May Cause Men to Die Prematurely

Men have been saying for years that if they don’t get laid, they will die. Turns out there may actually be something to that.

Researchers from the University of Michigan say they have found significant evidence that suggest that sexual frustration actually diminishes life expectancy – at least that appears to be the case in fruit flies.

A recent study published in the journal Science shows that when fruit flies were put in a situation where they expected sex and were not able to mate, the became more susceptible to stress and were not able to store fat, causing them to eventually starve to death.

“The cutting-edge genetics and neurobiology used in this research suggests to us that for fruit flies at least, it may not be a myth that sexual frustration is a health issue. Expecting sex without any sexual reward was detrimental to their health and cut their lives short,” said lead researcher Scott D. Pletcher, Ph.D, a professor in the Department of Molecular and Integrative Physiology at University of Michigan Medical School.

However, the data provided in this study is not expected to change the life and times of the sexually frustrated male, because somewhere out there, a female scientist has conducted a study that loosely proves women that fornicate with their significant others on a regular basis are more prone to wrinkles and a flat butt.

We’ve got news for you guys: if that study ever reaches the light of day, we’re all dead.