Man’s Ultimate Shower Relaxation Plan, Ends Up As A Painful Mistake
If you listen to Buzz and the KLAQ Morning Show, you have probably heard about shower thoughts. If not, shower thoughts is a subreddit thread for people to share those awkward ideas and thoughts that come to your mind when you have time to relax as you wash your worries away. Well one guy's attempt to relax in the shower, turned into a painful experience.
Reddit user, Francoisl13 had what he thought was a brilliant idea. He grabbed a lawn chair, put it inside his shower, just so he could sit down and have a beer. Unfortunately, the plastic chair and steam didn't mix too well, and his 'family jewels' ended up getting trapped in a slot. Not really sure how to explain it, so I'll let Francois13 explain:
Funny story, I took one of those plastic green lawnchairs in the shower one time, turned out to be the best thing ever to go with showerbeer. But the hot water made the plastic more flexible, and my testicles ended up slipping through one of the slots in the seat. I ended up having to tip over backwards in the shower, attached to the chair via scrotum, and have the hot water heat the bottom of the chair enough to be able to pull the plastic apart and remove my precious testicles.
If that story didn't freak you out enough, Francoisl13 goes into greater disturbing detail. You can go ahead and read it below, or just skip to the diagram. Yes, he created a diagram, to show how he magically freed his testicles.
As requested from my askreddit comment, I have come to post my story here. After hearing from a friend that sitting in the shower was the best thing ever, I decided to take it to the next level. I brought one of those green plastic patio chairs in the shower with me, accompanied by a good showerbeer. After relaxing for a good 15 minutes, the plastic chair became flexible enough to warp, allowing my testicles to slip through the slots on the seat. I was initially unaware of this, and began to stand up to turn off the shower, and the chair, fastened to my testicles, prevented me from standing. In a moment of panic, pain, and confusion, I tipped the chair over sideways in the shower, which was still secured to my precious scrotum. In order to save myself, I had to orient myself with my back facing the ground, with the bottom of the seat pointing towards the showerhead. I then sat there for 5 minutes, long enough until I could warp the slot with my hands to release the family jewels from captivity.
And as I promised you, here is the diagram.