So, a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I get these weird emails from dating sites, and I've received another with some tips on what not to post on Facebook about your dating/single life. So far, I haven't posted any of these, but I've seen a lot of this kind of stuff on there. Are you guilty of any of these?

  • What you're looking for in a date.
    Obviously, they're just wanting you to host this information on their online dating site, and don't want you using it on the free Facebook profile. Sneaky capitalists.
  • A play-by-play of the dates you go on.
    Would you want to go out with someone you know will give a blow-by-blow description of what happened? Especially if there were blow-by-blows to describe? Unless you were the recipient of them, of course not!
  • Sad posts about how miserable you are to be single.
    Yeah, that's attractive. Where do I sign to go out with you?
  • Angry posts about your singlehood.
    Even better! You're really hooking me, now!
  • Posting "sexy" pics.
    Really? Is this suddenly Adult Friend The last person you should trust is the person who says, "Trust me." The last person who should be saying you're sexy, is you. And guys, there's nothing sexy on your body that you can take a picture of. Sorry.
  • Ladies posting wedding dress photos.
    Nothing says desperation like a million plans for your wedding while still single. Okay, so guys already know that you've been planning that day for a long time already, but we don't want to hear about it until we've been dating for quite a while. If you're a guy posting those dress pics, you have deeper issues.
  • Photos of your ex.
    Tip for the ladies: Guys understand that you've been with other men, and that you've had sex before. We can put it out of our minds and believe that we're the only one ever, until we see a picture of the dude, or accidentally have to meet him. Please allow us our delusions.
    Tip for the guys: If you post about your ex, the girls you begin dating will instantly subscribe to your exes in order to track their lives. They are the exact opposite of dudes, they need to know EVERYTHING about your previous girlfriends.
  • Posting sappy love song lyrics.
    Oh. My. God. Did you really just do that? Comedian Richard Jeni had a great bit about love songs, check it out sometime.
  • Posting about a new crush.
    If you want him/her to run away quickly, start posting about them before you even begin dating. Nothing says "stalker" better. Except maybe lurking outside their house with binoculars. (Don't do that, the cops don't understand true love.)
  • Any evidence that you're stalking an ex.
    Okay, no one understands true love.