8 Ways The Sochi Olympics Are Just Like College
We have been hearing a lot of stories about the Sochi Olympics and how they aren’t your typical Olympic Games. After seeing some of the situations, they sound more like someone’s college life than a historic event.
Someone wants to adopt a bunch of puppies
In college, if you found a cat or dog somewhere, you would immediately start feeding and taking care of it. The best times were when you started drinking and thought it was a good idea to go to the shelter to find a puppy. I’ve known two people who did this and had the coolest dogs ever. It was as if they knew they came from a good time. Forever grateful for the time their mom got hammered and brought them home. U.S. Freestyle skier Gus Kenworthy is making it his mission to save some of the Sochi dogs from being killed by bringing some back!
There are condoms everywhere
Safe sex was an idea that was ingrained into your head in college. If you went to the health clinic for even a flu shot, you came out with at least a couple free condoms. At the Olympics with so many young, hot, fit competitors around, there’s bound to be a lot of sex going on. Condoms help them not make little Olympic babies while they’re there. Word on the street is that there were 100,000 condoms passed out in Sochi.
You’re staying in a shady place
In college, you’re not only living on Ramen, you’re living in some of the weirdest and unsafe places. There’s the basement apartment, the one with the leaky faucets, the apartment with the funky 80’s carpet, the 4 roommates in a 2 bedroom situation and others you tried hard to forget. At the Sochi Olympics, you hear stories of people dealing shower curtains and lightbulbs, getting stuck in bathrooms, tiny beds and more. I may even take the bad college conditions over Sochi’s, at least you’re in America.
Everybody’s on Tinder
Both college and the Olympics have horny young people looking to hook up, and the app to make it happen is Tinder. With its convenient GPS feature, you can make sure you find someone who is conveniently close and can arrange a meeting in an instant.
The popular guy ends up with pink eye
Oh Bob Costa, don’t feed bad. People end up with pink eye all the time. I got it from passing out in my eye make-up too often. How he got it, we’re still wondering. But he isn’t the first popular guy to be taken out of commission for awhile while he deals with an infection.
The gay guys have the best outfits
Leave it to the gays to have the best thing to wear. Covered in sparkles, bright colors, skintight and flashy the gays are always bringing their A game. And did I mention the body glitter? I’m still wondering where they get that long lasting brand.
There’s always one naked chick
Lebanese skier Jackie Chamoun has caused a scandal and public outcry in her native Lebanon after topless photos of her leaked online. She didn’t think it would come back to haunt her, just like the girl who wrote a frat’s letters across her chest in a bid to get guys to rush them.
Everybody pees together
Typical girls in college pee in packs, even some of the guys. You use it as a special bonding time together while you are in there. Although we knowingly choose to do this together, in Sochi, the athlete are doing the same thing. The bathrooms allow for as many as 4 to 6 people to go to the bathroom as a group, AT THE SAME TIME.