UT Chancellor to Ban 2014 Basketball Tourny in El Paso???

Press Release

Office of the Chancellor

Francisco G. Cigarroa, M.D.

--For Immediate Release (June 11, 2012)--

While President Diana Natalicio, Director of Athletics Bob Stull and other valued administrators and officials at the University of Texas at El Paso are to be commended today for earning the right to host the 2014 Conference USA Men’s and Women’s Basketball Tournament, I remain concerned about a higher than normal risk assessment posed by staging this event in El Paso.

Sources from the University of Texas Health Science Center have advised my office that El Paso ranks in the top three cities nationally as having the highest percentage of obese citizens.  This dubious ranking was most recently confirmed by the editors of Men’s Health magazine. El Pasoans are overweight, have Type-2 diabetes and spend more money per capita on junk food than people in any other city in the United States.

I do not reach my decision lightly, but given the obesity problem that continues unchecked in El Paso, I have determined that the sale of hot dogs, nachos and churros will be banned at the tournament.  Also, no such items will be allowed to be brought onto University property.  As a final condition, I insist that UTEP officials offer free cholesterol tests to all fans attending the games.

With great respect,

For more information contact:

Office of the Chancellor

The University of Texas System
601 Colorado Street, 4th Floor
Austin, Texas 78701

Now, this is a joke. But it was actually sent to me by Mayor Cook. A couple of points here:

1.) Who ever wrote it is an awesome satirist and deserves credit.

2.) We have a cool mayor.  Most mayors never would have sent something like this to the wacky morning DJ.  So...Thanks, John!