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Unwritten Rules for the Movie Theater

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Jani Bryson

Someone over at Thrillest posted an article about some unwritten rules about going to the theater. I’m completely on board with this list, and it’s also the reason I prefer to go to Alamo Draft House when I want to go to the theater.

  1. Turn your phone off. Not on vibrate, not even on silent. Do you not realize it’s not just the sounds that’s obnoxious? The light. Dear God the LIGHT! Seriously, turn that sh*t off.
  2. Don’t bring an entire dinner into the theater. This one is really for Buzz. He’s admitted that he would cook steak and potatoes, wrap them in foil, and eat them with no silverware. I don’t mind if you want to bring your own candy or something like that, but steak and potatoes? Please, anything with a strong smell, eat at home.
  3. Don’t put so much booze in your soda that you get hammered. Again, I have no problem if you want to sneak something into the theater, but let’s be adults here. Don’t ruin the movie for others because you can’t hold your liquor.
  4. When you are eating or drinking, please do so quietly. We’re all there to see a movie, not listen to you scarf down your popcorn and drink.
  5. Don’t hog the armrests. This is the one I don’t have a problem with, but I know I’m probably in the minority here. But I’m also skinny enough I can put my arms at my sides and I really don’t like being touched by people. Even people I know.
  6. Don’t ruin the movie by doing any of the following:
    1. Talking about the movie you just saw loudly in the lobby. Chances are at least one person there is going to see the same movie.
    2. Pre-reacting to scenes of a movie you’ve already seen. “Oh my God, watch this, that building totally blows up.” Don’t be that guy.

And here are a couple that weren’t on the list from Thrillist.

  1. Keep your questions to a minimum. Especially if you are seeing a movie for the first time with someone you know is also seeing it for the first time. They’re watching the same thing as you. Shut up and pay attention.
  2. Don’t bring a baby. Seriously, I don’t care if it is sleeping when you show up. It can still wake up.

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