Use this handy reference tool to follow along and we do the True Crime Report on the Morning Show. Links, mugshots and other pertinent material lies within.

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A Texas Police Official is Facing a Sexual Harassment Suit for Forcing an Employee to Motorboat Her Enormous Breasts:

Pam Matranga is a constable in Galveston County, Texas.

Pam is a little older . . . we couldn't find a record of her exact age, but she appears to be in her 50s.  And she has some very large breasts.  Yes, that's relevant to this story.

Because a former deputy named James Gist is SUING Pam for sexual harassment . . . claiming that, last year, she lifted her shirt over his head and FORCED him to MOTORBOAT her ENORMOUS BREASTS.

And that's not all.  He also says she did other inappropriate things, like giving him a lap dance, referring to her lady parts as "duck taco," and rubbing herself down below while asking him why she can't get a man.

He's seeking an unspecified amount in damages. Pam says she can't address the specific allegations but, quote, "I'm not a girlie girl, I think a lot of things have been taken out of context."

She's currently up for re-election in the May 29th primary and says James is REALLY suing her because, quote, "I would not change a legal document in his favor."  (Houston Press)


A Woman Has Been Busted for Offering "Happy Endings" to Customers at Her Hot Dog Truck

45-year-old Catherine Scalia, of East Rockaway, New York, owns a hot dog truck and spends her days driving around, selling hot dogs.  And MORE.  Because in 2004, she was busted for PROSTITUTION too.

Back in '04, she FLASHED an undercover cop who was investigating her for prostitution.  She said she did it because she needed more money on, quote, "a bad hot dog day. I sold maybe $5 worth of hot dogs."  She spent four years in jail.

And now, eight years later, it happened AGAIN.  Last week, she offered to give a HAPPY ENDING to an undercover cop who bought one of her hot dogs out of her camper . . . and even took him to her home to do it.

She was arrested for prostitution and pleaded not guilty.  The cops were investigating her again after some of her neighbors complained about what she was doing.

And by the way . . . her hot dog business is unlicensed.  Meaning that there's no guarantee that ANYTHING she sells out of her camper is clean and sanitary.  (New York Post)

Here are a couple pictures of Catherine with a couple of big wieners slapped between her buns ...

A Man Stabs His Friend in an Argument Over Who Has the Most Sex:

There isn't a long list of "hilarious reasons for someone to get stabbed" . . . usually, ya know, a stabbing's a bad thing . . . but this one makes the list.

On Sunday night, 54-year-old Calvin Hill of Greenwood, South Carolina stabbed a 41-year-old man after an argument at a party over which one of them HAS THE MOST SEX.  Awesome.

Apparently Calvin and the victim were really getting into it over who nailed more women.  They got into a, quote, "tussling match" in the backseat of a PT Cruiser that was being driven by a friend.

The fight ended when Calvin stabbed the other guy.  He was hospitalized.

Captain Morgan wasn't buying it, and arrested him for felony battery.  [The Smoking Gun]

Here is Mr. Hill's Mugshot...

Ladies Love Cool Calvin

Family says restaurant locked them inside over tip refusal

A family was allegedly locked inside a Houston restaurant over a dispute over a tip. The family said when their bill came, there was a 17 percent gratuity added, however they didn't feel the wait staff was deserving of the tip. The family said the restaurant called police and locked them inside when they refused to pay the tip. Read more and watch video here.