Contact Us

Top Reasons My Dog Is A Douche

Cesar Milan will be at the Abraham Chavez theater this Saturday. He will be showing you the secrets to a healthy and happy relationship with your pup. The more I talk to people, the more I believe I really need to go to this show. Here are my top reasons Tubby needs Cesar Millan, or an intervention.

KLAQ
KLAQ

KLAQ
KLAQ
1

The flower pot fertilizer incident

 
 

I took Tubby over to a friend's house for the first time, she wanted her dog to be more social and Tubby needed the same. Instead, he proceeded to run away from the dog the entire time and mark his territory all over her house. The first thing he did was walk outside to go to the bathroom in his own unique way. I lifted his leg to pee on a flowerpot, then twisted over and shoved his paw into the flowerpot. From there he began to do the number 2, down the side of the flowerpot so it got inside and down the side of it. My excuse for him? I believe he was trying to fertilize the plant for her.

 

 
KLAQ
KLAQ
2

His obsession with white

 
 

This is a continuation form the last story. After he pooped in the flowerpot, I sat him on the couch with me so I could hopefully watch him and make sure he behaved at least around me. Instead, he went to the middle of her white couch and peed right on it. I wish this was the only time he has peed on something white.

Instead last week, when my roommate got home, she took her white sweater off and threw it on the floor of her room. Tubby then went into this room and walked straight to the sweater, and peed on top of it. Then, he walked out and went back to sleep, like a boss. I have white sheets on my bed and luckily, he hasn't pee don them yet. But I'm not hoping for a miracle.

 
KLAQ
KLAQ
3

The world is his toilet

 
 

Even if I take my dog out every couple hours to go to the bathroom, the minute I leave the house, I feel like the first thing he does is go pee and poop in protest. The worst is in there bathroom. When I come home from a great night out with friends having dinner and drinks, I'll come home and need to use the restroom. I'll run into the bathroom, only to step in a giant pile of poop and get my shoe soaked in urine that is in the rug. This happens at least once a week.

 
KLAQ
KLAQ
4

He doesn't do diets

 
 

I took Tubby to the vet recently and I was told he needs to lose a third of his weight. I always thought he is just pudgy and cute, but apparently, he could have health issues when he is older so he needs to lose the weight. Because of this, I have started a diet plan for him that he has to stick to so he can lose weight. Tubby on the other hand, has started trying everything in his power to get food after he has had his food for the day. From breaking into his giant tub of food, jumping on the table knocking down bags of food and even opening pizza boxes to get the leftover crust inside. No morsel is safe in this household, if it is outside of the refrigerator, he will try everything in his power to get it. Including smashing plates onto the ground so he can get the food int them, like he did yesterday.

 

More from KLAQ

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://klaq.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on THE Q ROCKS quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here

Register on THE Q ROCKS quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!