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Top Alternate Slogans for Detroit

Back in May Detroit unveiled their new city slogan: Detroit: America’s Greatest Comeback City.

Then, in July, the city went bankrupt.

Maybe the slogan should have been Detroit: The You’ll Never Want to Come Back City.

Once one of America’s most prosperous cities, Detroit has fallen on the hardest of times, thanks to corruption and ravenous labor unions. I would mention that the city hasn’t had a republican mayor since 1961, but I’m sure that’s purely coincidental.  When people call for police or fire they are lucky if they receive a response at all. If emergency services respond within 2 hours of a 911 call it’s a good day.  A city that once had a population of over 2 million is now down to 700,000…comparable to the population of El Paso. 300 people still leave Detroit every day. Many who stay have no other option because they are destitute and receiving welfare assistance from this busted city.

I think I’d be more afraid to live in 2013 Detroit than I would to live in the Robocop version of Detroit where Clarence Boddiker and his gang committed murder and mayhem with impunity.

I put my mind to seeing if I could come up with better (or at least funnier) slogans for the former Motown…

      DETROIT: Urban Spelunker’s Paradise

     DETROIT: The New Orleans of the North

DETROIT: No We Couldn’t

DETROIT: Built By Car Companies, Destroyed by Unions

DETROIT: It’s even worse than Robocop predicted.

DETROIT: At Least We’re Not…uh…let’s see….erm….Shit….I Guess We ARE Them.

DETROIT: We Built this City on Crack and Hos

DETROIT: Gateway to Canada. Come Shoot a Bullet Into Windsor!

DETROIT: Payday Loan Capital of America

DETROIT: No Matter Where You’re From You’ll Feel Better About it After Visiting Here

Detroit Is for Lovers . . . Of Hopelessness and Urban Blight.

DETROIT: Come See Why Eminem has a nervous twitchy eye.

DETROIT : Come For The Motown Museum, Stay Because You Bought A House for $900

DETROIT: It’s Like Juarez but With Black People


 

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