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The Whole World is Going Down the Toilet – Politicians are Trying to Prevent Peeing While Standing

Public urinal
Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images

You’d think with everything going on in the world, that politicians would be focused on things that really matter. Depressed economies, world hunger, terrorism…something, right? But get this – they’re only working on the dumbest crap you can imagine. A great example: It seems the biggest problem in Sweden right now is those evil urinators in bathrooms!

Seriously.

They’re not peeing in public, or aggressively peeing at people or anything. They’re just innocently standing in front of a urinal, taking care of business. But Sweden’s Left Party representatives (of the Socialist and Feminist Organization) want to make it actually illegal to urinate while standing. They’re reasoning:

seated urination is more hygienic for men — the practice decreases the likelihood of puddles and other unwanted residue forming in the stall — in addition to being better for a man’s health by more effectively emptying one’s bladder

Via Huffington Post

Puddles? I will admit to having seen some puddles in restrooms, usually at big events like concerts where ten thousand guys are rushing through to get back out to see the rest of the show (please flush and then wash your hands), but it sounds like this is becoming a huge problem. I seem to have little problem hitting the urinal, and don’t leave any puddles at home.

Not everyone agrees with the push to outlaw standing urination, but apparently the disagreement over whether or not this will help is that men “scatter” a lot of urine not while peeing, but when they shake afterwards. (This is from a professor at the University of Louisville.) One question professor: How freaking hard are you shaking your peppie? Jesus, you don’t have to fling it over your shoulder to squeeze the last drops out! How hard is he shaking the thing out? Is he just jumping wildly around the bathroom, hoping the crazed flopping will get out the last bit? I can see it now, a bunch of morons jumping and flailing around in a bathroom, pee going everywhere!

I can’t believe I’ve written almost 300 words talking about whether or not men should be allowed to pee standing up. Why is this even being considered as a law?

Maybe they should consider making it illegal to not flush, or not wash your hands. How about making it illegal to block the toilet full of wads of paper so it leaves a huge mess for others?

 

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