I've always wondered how teachers handle so many students and not lose their brains. Then I saw some of the responses of what they said to their students and immediately regretted. This is hilarious.

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"When I taught 4th grade, I had a hearing-impaired little boy who wore special hearing aids that picked up my voice from a microphone I wore around my neck while teaching. I was pretty good about turning it off when I was not delivering a lesson, but sometimes I forgot. One day I was so frustrated with my class, and I went into the hallway to cool off. I vented quietly, while banging my head against the wall, "These stupid fucking kids, I want to knock their stupid fucking heads together." (Of course I didn't mean it). Took a deep breath and went back in. The little boy was smiling a shit-eating grin and winked at me. He never told anyone. He was so cool."


"A worked as a teacher at a school for kids with special needs. One day a girl would not stop saying "money shot, money shot, money shot!" and then chuckling. A few of the boys knew what she was referring to and chuckled as well. I asked her to stop saying money shot. She looked up at me and stopped laughing and in all earnestness asked, "What does money shot mean?" I froze, not knowing what to say. Being a male staff there was no way I could explain the dirty meaning of money shot to 17 year old student with special needs. So I opened my big dumb mouth and just said, "google it." Within about 3 seconds I realized what I had just said and loudly yelled, "NO, NO DON'T GOOGLE IT!!!" "


"During student teaching I split the class up into groups to learn about how different social groups (Women, African-Americans, Native Americans, Mexican-Americans, Farmers, etc.) were impacted by the New Deal. Once they were in their groups I sent them to different areas of the class room to research, when I dropped this line: "Where are my African-Americans at? African-Americans to the BACK of the classroom" There were two black kids in class..."


"Preface: The word for penis in Japanese is "chinchin." I was a teacher in Japan at the time, in a 6th grade class. We were playing a game and I was naming different body parts for them to touch (touch your knee! touch your eyebrow! touch your elbow!). I was having trouble thinking of the next part for them to touch, and blurted out "Touch your chin!" without thinking. Cue 20 6th grade boys laughing and grabbing their crotches."


"I used to work at a preschool as a toddler teacher. We had these annoying strings hanging from the ceiling with clothespins on them, so that we could clip up artwork or decorations. One of them was right at eye level, and after walking right in to it several times and uttering obscenities under my breath, I decided to take it down. One boy, a very observant little boy as it turns out, asked me, "where damn-it go?" It took me a week to convince him that clothespins are not called "damnits." "

"I work at a juvenile correctional facility as a teacher. One day my students were really grouchy and uncooperative so I got flustered and said "Boy are you guys Crabby today" Quicker than I could understand what was happening five of the biggest, burly, known gang affiliated youth shot up out of their chairs with literal fire in their eyes and said "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY" Turns out the Bloods gang members will sometimes call the Crips gang members Crabs to insult them. Thankfully they quickly realized I did not mean it with malice (being a pasty middle aged white guy) and sat down before it got ugly."


"In high school there was a student named Porky. Everyone at the school knew he was a stoner. One day our science teacher got pissed because everyone failed the test, except for Porky. She yelled "Maybe you should all start smoking pot, because Porky here is the only one who passed the test!" She brought a new meaning to puff, puff, pass. "

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Do any teachers out there have any moments like this they wish they could take back? Comment and lets hear your worst stories!