Straight from England, we have the most updated royal baby news from our on-the-scene reporter, Alan Smythe-Davies.
6:55 p.m--The Duchess of Cambridge arrived here at St. Mary's Hospital twelve hours ago and has been in labour for nearly four hours. Experts say that this is the only kind of "labour" any member of the Royal Family will ever be expected to do.
6:59 p.m.---Katherine continues to experience very acute labour pains. Moments ago, we were informed, the Duchess referred to her husband, Prince William, as a "wanker", stressing that she blamed him for "doing this to me". Moments later, Katherine then called the Prince a "bloody sod", a "manky git" and several other very British-sounding expressions of contempt.