THE Q ROCKS » assault

Possible Nicknames for the Guy Who's Been Grabbing Women at UTEP

Buzz Adams — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 18:37:15 +0000

The El Paso Times reports that a man has been "inappropriately grabbing" women near UTEP and that this has been going on for over a year!

We've already discussed our own plan for vigilante justice (it involves walkie-talkies, dressing Fernie in a skirt and some of those Kenyan runners on the UTEP track team).

But before we can proceed, we need to establish a nickname for the assailant. "Jack the Ripper". "The Boston Strangler". "The Coral Gables Cock-Puncher". All of these famous fiends had catchy nicknames. Here are a few suggestions for what we should refer to this local miscreant as...

Woman Reacts to Bad Practical Joke By Kicking Prankster in the Face

Shauna Wright — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:00:18 +0000

Wanted: one new roommate that doesn’t play practical jokes. All dog impersonators need not apply. Cats and cheese lovers welcome. Seems that on Christmas Eve, a 26-year-old man from Kenosha, Wisconsin thought it would be hilarious to hide outside his roomie’s bathroom door and bark when she came out. She, however, didn’t think it was [...]

Man Beats Himself Silly By Crushing 22 Beer Cans on His Forehead [VIDEO]

Don Deane — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 13:00:57 +0000

In a little over a minute, this guy quickly crushes 22 beer cans using nothing but his forehead. Don’t worry about him killing brain cells, those suckers kicked the bucket right after he chugged that 22 beer. This hard-headed He-Man easily pulverizes a range of normal-sized cans, but a tall boy proves mightier than his [...]

Woman Assaults Cheating Boyfriend While Witnesses Provide Uproarious Commentary [VIDEO]

Shauna Wright — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 21:26:28 +0000

William Congreve was right: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and rest assured, she’ll get her revenge — even if she’s on a train at the time. On November 29, a lady (and we use the term loosely) on a New Jersey transit train put the beat-down on her no-good cheating excuse [...]

Man Attacks Boy Over 'Call Of Duty' Kill

Chris Illuminati — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 13:44:31 +0000

A 46-year-old UK man took a Call Of Duty: Black Ops loss to a 13-year-old boy a little too personally: he found and choked the teen. The Mirror explains how a little online gloating led to a real life attack.

Woman Assaults Boyfriend For Not Having Sex

Chris Illuminati — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 19:57:43 +0000

An Iowa woman was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend after he refused to have sex with her. The Press Citizen explains that Melissa Barbara Minarsich, 28, just needed a little sweet loving and wanted to make that incredibly clear to her boyfriend.

[VIDEO] What Was the West Point? Patti LaBelle's Henchman Beat Up Cadet

Duke Keith — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 14:23:38 +0000

A 23-year-old guy named Richard King, who was a West Point cadet, has sued Patti LaBelle and her entourage, claiming that her bodyguards savagely beat him outside Bush International Airport in Houston because — he claims — he was standing too close to her luggage. He also claims Patti played an active role in the attack. Here’s [...]

Slash's Wife "Should've Kicked Her"

Johnnie Walker — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 23:20:18 +0000

Slash’s wife claims she never kicked that porn star Samantha Slopes in the stomach. According to TMZ.com, law enforcement officials said that Perla allegedly kicked Slopes in the stomach after she spied the woman talking to her husband, whose real name is Saul Hudson, backstage after Slash performed his opening set. Slopes refused medical attention, [...]