The El Paso Times reports that a man has been "inappropriately grabbing" women near UTEP and that this has been going on for over a year!
We've already discussed our own plan for vigilante justice (it involves walkie-talkies, dressing Fernie in a skirt and some of those Kenyan runners on the UTEP track team).
But before we can proceed, we need to establish a nickname for the assailant. "Jack the Ripper". "The Boston Strangler". "The Coral Gables Cock-Puncher". All of these famous fiends had catchy nicknames. Here are a few suggestions for what we should refer to this local miscreant as...