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Sugarless Gummy Bears Can Give You Explosive Diarrhea

Sugarless products are sometimes thought to be better for you and give you the same great taste as traditional treats. Well, now there is at least one sugar free treat you’re going to want to stay away from. 

iStock Photo
iStock Photo

Someone told me about the reviews of Haribo Sugarless Gummy bears online and I knew I had to see them for myself. Boy, am I glad that I did. Almost every person wrote about the horrible aftermath of eating these delicious treats. My favorite part? It has to be the “Safety Warning” given in the actual description:

Consumption of some sugar-free candies may cause stomach discomfort and/or a laxative effect.  Individual tolerance will vary.  If this is the first time you’ve tried these candies, we recommend beginning with one-fourth of a serving size or less. Made with Lycasin, a sugar alcohol. As with other sugar alcohols, people sensitive to this substance may experience upset stomachs.

Does this mean that there are other sugar-free delights out there that will have me sitting on my porcelain throne for the rest of the day? Apparently, I am going to have to search for all products that contain Lycasin and avoid them like the plague.

Here is a small sample of the reviews for Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears:

“Oh man…words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear “Cleanse”. If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety…I was a happy camper. BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors….AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS. I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005. If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don’t post a video review during the aftershocks.”

 

“(This happened two years ago while I was in the ARMY stationed in Fort Irwin, CA) So, most people that know me, knows how much I love gummy candy. So I decided to buy this five-pound bag of gummy bears. I remember it was a Friday, when they finally arrived in the mail… I opened the package and proceeded to snack on these bears for the majority of the day. My stomach started to rumble and I became very gassy, then out of nowhere my arse became the Hell Mouth releasing all sorts of demons wrecking havoc on my toilet….All the while I’m sitting their wondering, what the hell? I haven’t eaten anything…So, like an idiot, trying to figure out why my third point of contact is re-enacting the eruption of Mount St. Helens, I’m still eating the damn gummy bears… Eventually I figured it out… long story short. My bathroom was filled with great odors, loud music from the bowels of hell and I didn’t sleep that entire weekend. These Gummy Bears are life changing. I could’ve swore I saw God, while on the Porcelain God.”

 

“The reduced air pressure in the cabin causes gases to expand from their sea-level volume. My flight was subject to atmospheric turbulence nearly as violent as the intestinal turbulence I suffered. Finally, after 4 hours, when we were allowed to visit the lavatories, the auditory evidence of these confections could clearly be heard above the roar of the jet engines. When I emerged from the lavatory, the 12-deep line of people behind me had miraculously vanished, but the stewardess expended three cans of lysol in the area. I more than half expected to be arrested on arrival for attempting to blow up the plane.”

This is just a sample of the over THREE HUNDRED comments about the Haribo Gummy Bears on Amazon. Makes you want to eat them, just to see if they really are that bad. I don’t have a death wish though, so I think I will stick with the sugar-full kind of Gummy Bears.

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