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Six ‘Rogue One’ Non-Spoilers That Will Change How Some People View ‘Star Wars’

Leon Neal
Leon Neal

Hi! I’m a 48-year-old man and I just went to see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story! At 10:30 a.m.! On a workday!

There were reports that some Donald Trump supporter were going to boycott the movie because of “anti-Trump messages”. No…seriously!  There was even a #dumpstarwars movement on Twitter.

To all Trump supporters, I can tell you there was absolutely no anti-Donald bias in Rogue One. Despite rumors you may have seen on Breitbart, NONE of the following things happened.

  1. The Death Star is NOT made using Mexican labor and Chinese Steel.
  2. The Emperor DOES NOT remove his cowl to reveal a “Make the Galaxy Great Again” baseball cap.
  3. Princess Leia most definitely DOESN’T strangle Chris Christie on his pleasure barge.
  4. The TIE Fighters DO NOT have “Lock Her Up” bumper stickers
  5. It’s NOT true that we meet Plapatine’s wife, “Mee-lania”.
  6. Vader DOES NOT reveal that he’s also  Ann Coulter’s father.

So, I assure you, the rumors of Trump-bashing are unfounded. You can rest at ease, comrades.

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