Man Dies In Worst Possible Way Ever
We were too busy gulping egg nog and overpaying for New Year’s Eve dinner to notice this story, but we’re kind of glad we did. We have now placed Kolkata, India at the top of the list of places we never want to be hospitalized…or visit…or, you know, have our junk eaten by rats until we bleed to death.
Asian Age newspaper reported Dec. 24 that Arun Sandhukh, 53, who was being treated for pneumonia, allegedly bled to death after rats “nibbled off his penis in a government-run hospital in Kolkata.”
“No nurse was found at the scene and he was writhing in pain. His penis had been nibbled by rats,” the victim’s relative, only known as Bishwanath, told the media.
Our immediate reactions were to 1) grab our own genitals and scream in pain 2) mull over the fact that the hospital admitted the prevalence of rats in the wards and 3) to feel bad for the guy for not just suffering a horrific death but to suffer the humiliation of the word “nibbled” being used in this story.
At least “gnawed” or “chomped” would provide a sense that he was packing more than a cheese curl.