Forget Valentine's Day, this year, we're celebrating 'Palentine's Day,' a day when men so scorned by women can forget the romance and kick back with their bros. To celebrate properly, we're sending one lucky (or unlucky based on his story) fellow to VIP night at the Red Parrot and transportation for him and four of his pals.

Hopefully the ladies can take our winner's mind off the she-devil who wronged him. Check out the horror stories we received ...

Baby's Got a Baby

Dear KLAQ Morning Crew,

I think I have the worst Valentine's breakup situation ever. I was dating my ex-girlfriend for over two years.  During that two year relationship I did everything to be a part of her life and support her every move. I like to say first hand ... I was and still am a very good guy, but being good to someone doesn’t really account for much these days “at least that’s what I just figured out.”  The relationship was a very good relationship “so I thought.” I had always wondered why she never wanted me to meet her family. She told me that her father was very ill and that it would make him worse because he stressed out a lot. She also said he was against her dating because of her younger sister getting married at such a young age.  So I didn’t want to push the issue.  I am currently a student trying to go through the nursing program and my studies are very important to me, but I never let them take precedents over the chance to see her.  So because our schedules were so busy, we saw each other maybe once or twice a week. All of a sudden she told me that she was more busy than ever and for three months, I had not seen her but we spoke and texted on the phone constantly. Our phone conversations were about how much we missed each other and how our day went and also other stuff.  So it was normal I thought.

The holidays were coming up on us and prior to that we both were trying to get fit for the holidays because we wanted to surprise each other. Well I told her I lost weight but then I would gain it right back and I was frustrated. She said she was having the same results. I said I had to try harder to lose weight and she said she would try too. A week later she told me that she was feeling ill and had to go to the hospital because her blood pressure was very low. Later that night she told me that her doctor gave her medication to control her blood pressure and that more tests would be run to see what was wrong. So that whole week I didn’t see her. Then the following week she told me she had to go to the doctor again because she was having a bad reaction to the medication and was getting bloated. After going to the doctor she told me he said that the medication was not working for her and that she was diagnosed with sever constipation because of the medication. The next day she came to see me.  I thought she looked as beautiful as ever and I was happy to see her. She said she was not feeling good and that she was feeling bloated and swollen. I said you don’t look swollen but you have only been taking the medication for a day so give it another day. We had a wonderful good time together that day.  The very next day she was coming over every single day and I was so happy to see her.  In my mind I was thinking our relationship is getting so much better. One night as I was at work I decide to Google her name just because her name is so different and there are not many names like hers.  On the first search result I clicked on it, and I was like WTF!!!  The results read that she and some guy were registered at Kohl's for their baby.  I was thinking at that this point there is no way someone with the same name as my girlfriend is having a baby.  So I clicked on the link to the registration and It gave me her address.  I was thinking ... This can’t be right!  The next day I didn’t know how to bring it up to her so I called her and everything went normal. I was in denial so I didn’t mention it. Something odd happened that day, we usually had a routine on how we text and talked on the phone but for some reason she wasn’t responding to my calls or text.  Six hours later she calls me and tells me she loves me and she is so happy.  She also said she had to go to the doctor's and that she was busy all day.  I asked her how the visit went. She told me that the doctor said she was fine no more meds.

Well, a week went by and then I saw her again everything was normal. I was excited to hear she was still feeling good and that the results of her blood test indicated that she didn’t have low blood pressure. The next day at work I couldn’t help myself so I Googled her name again and it read "Congratulations on your newborn.  My mind was racing.  I got an idea ... even though her sister and I never met, I requested her friendship on Facebook. The very next day, I was accepted. I started looking at her post and there was a baby picture saying my new nephew - he’s so adorable. I read what people were posting in response to the picture and came across one that said "Is that your baby?" The sister replied "No, dumbass, that’s my sister's."  The boy wrote "Which sister?" She said "The only one I have."

I fell apart. I immediately excused myself from work and took the day off on my way driving home, I was so messed up I almost crashed a couple of times.  I love her so much.  Why? Why?  I called her and asked her if that was true. She said "No, what are you talking about?"  I told her "I found out you had a baby and didn’t tell me." She said "No, it's not true."  I then said the baby's name to her and she said "What do you want me to do?" At that point, I couldn’t talk anymore. She said "Sorry." I hung up.  An hour later, I said "Why didn’t you tell me? and I saw on the Internet you are with someone else?" She said "Not anymore."  She said "Don’t worry, it’s not yours."  I told her I loved her and how could she do that?  I didn’t get an answer.  I told her this is not right I will still be with you no matter what. She said OK.  Well form that point on I tried to think what and how I went wrong ( I still don’t know where I did). I kept going on Facebook to see if there were any new pictures of the baby and just find out what I could.  One month later her sister took me off of her Facebook and then I sent her a message telling her I was sorry for invading her privacy and that all I wanted to do is be close to her sister because I love her.  Two days later her sister tells me that my girlfriend is happy in love with her husband and please respect them so she can get on with her life and baby.  I again apologized and said "Why is it she is still telling me she loves me and misses me? I just got a text from her this morning from her."  Then I said I will call her. So I called my girlfriend. She answered "Hi, babe."  I said, "I have to ask you a question.  Are you married because your sister said you are?" She said "No, I'm not married. I said "Are you with this guy still? She said "Ummmm, yeah."  I said "So you love him?"  She said, "Ummm, do I love him?? Ummm, yeah."  I said "So we are over, I take it?" She didn’t say anything. I said "I wish you the very best in everything you do and that life is good to you." I also said "I wish you finish you school and please take care of the baby." I felt my heart die.  I never thought this was possible. I told her goodbye. We hung up.

Truck for a Home

Okay guys,

You guys wanna hear a true story about a heartbreak? Okay here it goes: This past December I got separated for my wife it was a 8 - 9-year relationship. We have children together. Well anyways, to make a long story short, I was a truck driver for 5 years over the road. During the course of those 5 years, she started developing some weird habits or should I say, some cheating habits. Every day she would not answer my phone calls between the hours of 5 p.m. to p.m. She always used the excuse that she was taking a nap or and let me not forget the kids would never be our apartment. She would always leave the kids at her parents house during this time so I finally got off the road got a local job in Paso only to discovered that she has been dating a military guy so her mother came up with a plot to take money from me and this is what happened: Her mother got a job in San Antonio so she told me that she wants me to take over her house, make a long story short, I buy into this and I spend 25k, yes $25,000 fixing the house up. Well, 5 months later her mom decides to come back to El Paso and when she did come back, she was under the impression that the house was still hers.

Guys, there are a lot of details that I am skipping out on to try and make the story shorter. Anyway, this lead to confrontation which later resulted in me being kicked out of the house and me living in my personal truck for two weeks. I hope I win.

'Inbred Southern Morons'

I ended up living with this chick that left her husband and kids for me. After about 5 months she developed a wandering eye for other dudes, one in particular that she said was just a "friend." She started to ping-pong back and forth between this douche and I. I eventually got him kicked out of the military while I stayed in. He moved back to Arkansas, she left me to move back to Louisiana. A few months later she said she wanted me back. Like a dumbass, I took her back. While we were broken up, I pursued one of her friends that she didn't even keep in contact with and started hitting it. One drunken night she admitted to banging 5 guys while back in Louisiana, I stupidly told her I had one girl since her, her so-called friend. She flipped out and got me in trouble with the military that forced me back onto base dormitories while she stayed in the apartment I was PAYING for. A few days later, the Arkansas douche that started all this crap showed up to help pack her up and move her back to Louisiana. As a parting gift they left a video of them screwing on all my furniture that I owned. I hate inbred southern morons forever now.

Brain Tumor = Another Man

In 2007, I met my best friend and we grew closer and closer every year and eventually, in 2009 we started dating. I was madly deeply in love with her and my feelings for her kept growing stronger and deeper for her. In 2010, I proposed to her and had the wedding planned for mid 2011 spring. We began making plans to move into our own place and start a small family. In March 2011 she told me they found she had a brain tumor. I stuck with her through everything no matter what happened. However, in April she told me that it was all a lie she said she told me that because she thought it would push me away. She said she wanted to be with someone else. Just a couple of weeks away from our wedding, all our plans were nothing. She broke my heart, stomped on it and tore it into a million pieces. Since then I haven't been able to feel the same way for another girl no matter how hard I try.

Hearts and Cars Cut in Half

I am stationed at Ft. Bliss.  In 2010 when I came back from deployment at the end of January, I found out my now ex-wife was sleeping with people in my own company that didn't deploy with us.  One of which was in my platoon.  She also had my car cut in half!! Literally cut in half.  Now this was all right before V-Day and the day before was served with the divorce. Not the papers, the divorce decree.  This was a huge shock to me as the whole time I was gone she was the doting wife.  This was while I was stationed at Ft. Drum, NY.  Although I have gotten over her, this incident has pretty much ruined V Day for me.

Birthday Breakup

Dear KLAQ Morning Show crew,

My ex girlfriend told me she was pregnant with her ex-boyfriend. I, of course, was the last to know and to make things worse, she told me on my birthday and also dumped me on that same day. That is my story.

While we feel for all you guys (and wow, ladies can be heartless bi*&hes!), we could only have one winner, which was "Inbred Southern Morons." Hope the lapdances can erase the image of your ex banging another dude on your furniture, bro.