My 1 Week of Sobriety Thanks To Johnnie Walker
So, after a night of drinking an entire bottle of wine to myself and proceeding to not remember when I fell asleep, Johnnie Walker said he believed I have a problem. I was home with my animals and didn't drive anywhere. The only problem I saw was that my makeup was still on. So, after my mini intervention with the tall one I decided to try not drinking for an entire week to see what would happen. In that time, I found new things to occupy my time and learned many things.
For instance, my new found sobriety made me feel I was finally able to know what was going on long enough to take care of another life form. So, I adopted a dog. Lets be honest, owning a cat doesn't exactly scream responsibility. Give it kitty litter, food, a water dish, and you both can ignore each other for the rest of the week. Occasionally, acknowledge each other with a glare and then go on your way. But my little Tubby has worst separation anxiety than Whitney Housten from the crack pipe. Its okay though, she can smoke as much as she wants in heaven now.
Now, with all this time on my hands not dedicated to learning whether I enjoy the sweet yet fruity taste of Riesling or the less sweet dessert wine flavor of Moscato (trust me, theres a difference) decided to purchase some new libres. And no, they did not have 50% pictures in them. The first one I bought was a handbook on how to raise a pug (so I am less likely to kill him on accident), Why Men Don't Have A Clue And Women Need More Shoes ( to further solidify why I will never be getting married), and The Perks Of Being A Wildflower ( I haven't read it since I was in high school and the movie is coming out soon). Now I know why my little fat one does what he does, still don't believe in marriage, and how being awkward in life isn't all that bad.
I got my sports bra and yoga pants on and was ready to get my tush in shape! Instead, I ended up watching the Girls Next Door workout DVD and eating chicken nuggets on my couch. But the effort was made so I was okay with it.
Lets be honest, you can always spice up your love life somehow and its good just to see whats new out there. Plus, being a single girl you have to always be ready for whatever! So what did I learn? Porn is getting more and more intense all the time and a little traumatizing too.