LATEST OUTRAGE: Homo-Gay Plot to Turn Your Kids with Calci M. Bone!!! [PHOTOS]

Fellow Christ-warriors, make sure you're sitting down. That way you won't have so far to go to fall to your knees and beg the Lord's mercy when you hear about the latest soldier in the Homo-gay war against our children!!

My friend Albert who plays drums in my other friend Rich's band (I keep begging them to cut the Skynyrd from their set-list in favor of some more Jesus-friendly Gaither Family Trio but, so far, to no avail) sent me the following photo that he took of a poster in a local grade school cafetorium. Brace yourselves...

Please meet Calci M. Bone...teaching aid, pro-health mascot...insidious subliminal shill of the Godless Homo-gay agenda!!  You see, Christ-warriors, the pro-calcium message is simply a canard, a red-herring if you will.  While ostensibly learning the importance of healthy bones, our children are actually being led down the lavender path toward the charnal house of full-blown peter-puffery.  For, that's not just any bone being portrayed in cartoon form.

No, that the DIRTY bone.  It's plain to see.  If you need any more proof that this is just a subliminal buggery-recruitment plant, just look at this!

Uh, huh. It's a BONE...that's extolling the virtues of being an ORGAN wise guy!!!   If this doesn't smack of the gay mafia then, fellow-God's Elect, I don't know what does.

Oh, but I can hear some of you defenders of decadence out there, spewing your deceitful scorn..."Oh, Buzz! Clearly that's not supposed to represent an enormous albino flap-doodle. It's just a bone! Even it's last name is "Bone"."

Is it? Is it, really? Let's take a closer look, shall we?

What? You don't see it? Let's zoom in a little closer. Pay extra attention to the trademark symbol.

Calci M. Bone...PLUS the trademark...equals?

Calci M. Boner!!  Nice try, Godless Gomorrahans . But you're hell-spawned attempts to ensnare our kids into a life of ass-fu*&ery will never succeed as long as I am manning the Watchtower of Righteousness!  Jesus will reward me someday in the hereafter. The rest of you can send checks or make recurring Pay-Pal donations to help me help God.  Hallelujah and Hosannah!