Larry King's twitter is just awesome. Check it out!

Back in the 80s and early 90s, Larry King used to write a column for USA Today (a print publication, young folks) that was as awesome as it was pointless. They probably paid him a truckload of money to write it and it was called King’s Things. It consisted only of Larry King’s random, disjointed thoughts. It looked like zero effort was put into it, it was just opinion, it was never helpful or enlightening in any way and the typical length of each thought was just a few wordsandOMG!!…Larry King was 1988’s Twitter!

Here are a few samples of what Larry used to write in his USA Today columns:

If you look up the word ‘class’ in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of Tyne Daly…

The Amish make fine houses…

The designs of the new ties are better than ever…

Burt Reynolds improves the screen by being on it…

These are the kind of pedestrian observations you wouldn’t put up with from one of your friend’s Twitter feeds. And yet, for over 20 years, they printed these in one of the most widely circulated newspapers in the world…and paid him handsomely for it!

Good news, fans of elderly men rambling on and on about things no one could possibly give a shit about! Larry King has just discovered Twitter! It’s like he’s picking up right where King’s Things left off all those years ago!

Here are a few of my favorite Larry tweets from the past two days…

(That’s probably because when you could, there were only 15 states, Larry!)

(This is the type of thought you could only expect from the very elderly and dogs.)

(At a Phish concert.)

I wonder if I could get away with writing a few meaningless thoughts and calling it my daily post. I think it should. If it’s could enough for Larry King it should be good enough for Lauren.

 

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