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Guest Columnist: Bill Clinton “Why I Will be Attending the Sun Bowl”

World's Biggest BJ Fan

On New Year’s Eve I, Bill Clinton, will be in El Paso, Texas at the Sun Bowl. Why, you may ask? Am I a fan of Georgia Tech? No.  Did I ever attend Utah? Not on your life!  In fact, I am a lifelong Arkansas Razorback fan (Sooooweee!) and I have zero interest in the two teams playing at the Sun Bowl.  No, I am much more interested in what’s being planned for the  halftime show.

Once I heard the news that the Sun Bowl halftime show would include a BJ performance, I made my mind up right then and there to be in El Paso on New Year’s Eve!  You may not know this but I am a huge fan of BJ’s.
I mean, going waaaay back to the sixties! About the time I left home for college was when I first became a fan of BJ’s. Then when I got to Yale was when I really got into it. My freshman year all I could talk about was BJ ,BJ BJ. Soon I was telling all of my  college chum about this hot new thing I’d discovered. And wouldn’t you know it…everybody I told became big fans of BJ’s , too!

Now, I’m pretty sure by now that everyone knows what I’m talking about. If you don’t then you need to go buy a newspaper. I mean, c’mon people! In less than two weeks El Paso is going to get a BJ performance it won’t soon forget.  And I can’t wait to be there to see it go down!

But, life is funny sometimes. As big a fan of BJ’s as I was it turned out that I married a BJ hater. To say Hillary isn’t a BJ fan is an understatement. She’s loathes it.  Not a fan of BJs at all. Which came as a surprise on our wedding night because while we dating I thought she was as big an admirerer of BJs as I was.  But…I guess she was just faking it. I should have known. Sure, she said she liked it, but every time I’d be in the mood for a little BJ, she’d make this …expression. Kind of disgusted.  I mean, that’s not how a real fan of BJs would react.  A girl who really loved a BJ performance as much as me would smile and bop her head back and forth…maybe she’d even hum along !
But not Hillary. No sir! Not a fan of BJ’s at all.

Oh, but dont worry, ! I’ve finally come to realize I don’t need Hillary’s approval to enjoy a little  BJ every now and then. Whenever I’m in the mood , I just go someplace it’s private and whip it out…. My IPod Shuffle that is. Ever since Chelsea got this thing for me for 2 Christmases ago, I can get my BJ fix anywhere I like. At home, on an airplane…even at the Gym. But, there’s nothing like some rockin BJ action in front of a crowd of 55,ooo! That’s why I’m looking forward to coming down to the Sunbowl on New Years.   I expect to see all of you in the El Paso chapter of the BJ Fan Club to be right there with me!

(Editor’s note: The Halftime entertainment at this years Sun Bowl will be by Grammy winning artist BJ Thomas, a fact that may not have been accurately communicated to former President Clinton. We regret any embarrassment this may have caused.)

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