Shocking and Weird Google Searches That Lead People to the KLAQ Website

I know what you’ve been Googling and I’m telling...

Being the “local computer girl” means I keep a very close eye on our website analytics. My favorite part, by far, is reading all the Google searches from across the world that lead people to our website. Like “vagina tattoos” or in this case, “tattoes.” I’m not sure exactly what a tattoe is, but it sounds kinky.

"So why are people finding “vaginal tattoos” on the KLAQ site?", you ask. Well, a few months ago I wrote a story about Onya Cox and her glowing vag tat. Since then, pervs across the globe have been Googling “vag tat” “genital tattoos” “videos of p**** tattoos” and every other variation of that phrase which brings them to my story. My mother is beaming with pride.

Onto other pervy things. It seems when Googling “Father and Daughter having sex,” or in some cases “Haveing,” you come across Duke Keith’s post, which assuredly has no evidence of fathers and daughters having sex. Instead, it’s a funny story about a father catching a daughter in the act. Sorry to disappoint.

Then there’s the fascination with boobs. I mean, they’re great, but really? Boobs in condoms? Casey Anthony’s boobs? What ever happened to the fine appreciation of Playboy?

Actually, now that I think about it, what DO boobs in condoms look like? Elegant, I’m sure.

Up next is a garden variety of weird.

Oh, your cat died? Let me tell you this joke to make you feel better.

It was perplexed until I realized a MILF in El Paso could be, like, 18. Everyone knows the armpits of 18-year-old mothers are succulent.

I’m noticing a lot of “wanking” searches here. Disturbing.

There are no winners in the game of cameltoe.

Because what’s life without friends?

Onto another urine-themed search.

Only with practice.

Looks like someone just scored themselves a classy new screensaver!

I’m assuming this is the only time Google has responded with “Search returned no results. Here are some random websites instead."

We’ve had our fair share of “sex video” searches.

It’s all fun and wanks until you come across the Village People sex video.

And to round it out, a screen grab of what might be the most disturbing list of searches all at once.

Spellcheck, people! PLEASE!