Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos was on 60 Minutes this week touting the latest in crap-you-could-live-without delivery: airborne drones. 

You can read the story [HERE]

And here is the video:

There are a number of potential hitches and glitches I can foresee with this new tech.  I have enumerated them below…

1.)     Where’s the nearest Amazon distribution site?

Phoenix?  Houston?  If I live in El Paso, it’s going to take that little whirlygig a lot longer than 30 minutes to reach my house. Seriously, in the video it looks like it’s moving at bumblebee speed. The insect, not the Transformer. It would be like airborne snail-mail. No thank you!

2.)     Power Lines

 The bane of near-sighted sparrows the world over. Just one of these and your new Slanket could end up rotting in a drainage ditch somewhere.

3.)     Flight plans

 Granted, you don’t have to file a flight plan if you fly below a certain altitude. But even helicopter and ultra-lights have to be in contact with some kind of human air traffic controller. Even Bezos addressed this. How is a “fully automated drone” going to file a flight plan or talk to the tower and ask if there are any hot-air balloons in the vicinity.

4.)     People Shooting that Shit Right Out of the Sky

Some of these deliveries will take place in the south and mid-west.  Those people all have guns within arms reach and they won’t hesitate to use them especially when they learn to recognize these drones for what they are: modern day Wells Fargo trains just ripe for the bushwackin’.  If these folks have no problem shooting a crow for food (they don’t) they won’t hesitate to shoot a drone to get their hands on your Beatz Headphones by Dr. Dre.

Also, they will almost certainly be mistaken for UFO’s, resulting in many southerners attempting to shoot and/or mate with them.

5.)     Skynet

  “Hey let’s teach these flying robots how to find people in their own homes! I’m sure they won’t ever gain sentience, weaponize themselves and eliminate the human race.”

All I’m saying is “Please think this through Cyberdyn…er, I mean, Amazon, before you start filling the skies with your high-tech, genocidal murder-bots.”