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For Sale: 55-Gallon Drum of Lube – 5 Possible Uses

Someone at the station stumbled across a 55-gallon drum of water-based lubricant for sale on, for the bargain price of $1,495, on sale from the original price of $2,750! This bargain got me thinking about the possible uses for 55 gallons of lube. Here's my top five:

Slip n Slide
flickr user Sethoscope


Create Most Dangerous (But Fun) Slip ‘N Slide Ever!



Anyone can use water on their Slip 'N Slide, but a true genius uses lube. But where would one get enough lube for such an endeavor? Amazon, that's where. Bonus: Once the lube is poured out onto the Slip 'N Slide, the empty drum makes for one enormous punch bowl.


Little People Oil Wrestling


All-In-One-Little-People-Oil-Wrestling Ring



This 55-gallon drum of lube gives you everything* you need to host a night of little-people oil wrestling all in one product. Just toss 'em on in for hours of fun!

*Little people not included


Jersey Shore Cast
Jason Kempin, Getty Images


Keep Entire ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Orangey Tan For a Week



If lube works anything like baby oil, it's a perfect substance for tanning. With 55 gallons, you could probably keep the entire cast of 'Jersey Shore' nice and orange for at least a week.


Kirstie Alley
Amazon / Getty Images


Help Kirstie Alley into a Catwoman Suit



Okay, so it may be mean, but you never know when an emergency will arise in which you have to cram Kirstie Alley into a Catwoman costume. Stranger things have happened and you need to be prepared.


Nursing Home
flickr user k4dordy


A Multi-Partner Tryst With Retirement Home Residents

(Somehow that sounds better than ‘Nursing Home Gang Bang’)



Now, when you're done gagging, let me explain. Old gals need love, too.


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