For Sale: 55-Gallon Drum of Lube – 5 Possible Uses
Someone at the station stumbled across a 55-gallon drum of water-based lubricant for sale on Amazon.com, for the bargain price of $1,495, on sale from the original price of $2,750! This bargain got me thinking about the possible uses for 55 gallons of lube. Here's my top five:
Anyone can use water on their Slip 'N Slide, but a true genius uses lube. But where would one get enough lube for such an endeavor? Amazon, that's where. Bonus: Once the lube is poured out onto the Slip 'N Slide, the empty drum makes for one enormous punch bowl.
This 55-gallon drum of lube gives you everything* you need to host a night of little-people oil wrestling all in one product. Just toss 'em on in for hours of fun!
*Little people not included
If lube works anything like baby oil, it's a perfect substance for tanning. With 55 gallons, you could probably keep the entire cast of 'Jersey Shore' nice and orange for at least a week.
Okay, so it may be mean, but you never know when an emergency will arise in which you have to cram Kirstie Alley into a Catwoman costume. Stranger things have happened and you need to be prepared.
Now, when you're done gagging, let me explain. Old gals need love, too.