Dubba G Is Healing, Adjusting And Improving His Vocabulary
Last weekend, I had a little argument with the earth and the earth won. You should have seen me on my first day with my new cast!
2 days after the accident, despite all the leg and knee pain, I drove my truck to Upper Valley Urgent Care. (It’s a standard and would be hard on my injured legs and knees but I knew I couldn’t avoid it forever.) Spit out a few cuss words on the way but I got there ok. Once they put the cast on though, I lost the use of my left hand for steering and my right hand has to shift so ….. yeah. More leg pain, a few impatient bastards honking at me and more cuss words.
Once I got to The Q, I called my girl and had her come trade vehicles with me. Driving was still going to be a chore though. My girlfriend is shorter than me so, as I try to enter her car I bang my injured knee against the dash. Cussing. Lots of it.
Normally, I move the seat AFTER I get in. Now, I can’t bend my other leg enough to get in unless I move the seat FIRST. The seat lever is in the middle and can only be reached with my injured hand so, out of the car I go. With, of course, more knee bending and a couple of more knee bangs. The cuss word streams are getting longer and more “colorful“.
I adjust the seat and reenter the car. Painful and time consuming but, I DID IT! I’m off … Not. The emergency brake is on and I can’t use my left hand to release it. I can’t even find the release in my current yoga position; trying to reach the far left side of the console with my right hand. Again, out of the car.
Where the f-word is the damn release?? It’s dark, the inner light is feeble at best and Nissan colored all the latches, levers and buttons to match so I can’t find the damn thing in the dark. I turned inner lights on, flashed the headlights, popped the hood, honked … cussed … and a few other things before finally finding the damn release.
The car was on a hill so, naturally, when I yanked the release the car rolled a foot or two. That banged me, my wrist and knee against the door. I’m going to have to run by St. Patricks Cathedral and seek forgiveness after that barrage of language.
After closing the hood and getting back in the car … yep, more knee bumps … I’m ready to roll! Except that I dropped the keys as I got in. Left side of course. Again with the weird yoga position as I try and pick them up on my left side using my right hand.
Despite the slippery as hell, recently “Armor All“-ed steering wheel, I made it home and now, here come the dogs. Happy to see me, they wag their steel alloy tails as fast and hard as they can. At injured knee level.
I’m going to have to include a donation to St. Pats now.
For the next 3-6 weeks, I’m seriously considering having a film crew follow me. Gonna try yard work this weekend, stay tuned.