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Drunk Guy Threatens to Slap Cop with the ‘Nightstick in His Pants’

Oxford Police Department

We all did stupid stuff when we were in college. Keg stands before our Psych final? Yup. Seducing our hot Spanish TA for exam answers? You betcha. Threatening to slap a police officer across the face with our penis? Wait– no, that definitely wasn’t us.

Craig McIntire, a student at Miami-Ohio, did just that. At first, it seems like we can really relate to this guy; he was just a really drunk college kid who had to wiz. Like any other heavily intoxicated person, Craig thought it would be fine to let it flow right where he was standing. Cops found Craig peeing against a wall. Apparently, the whole swaying from side to side while urinating in public gave away his drunkenness. The poor guy was cuffed and taken into police custody.

Now this is where funny lore begins to unfold — While in the back of the cop car, Craig got a little boisterous,  and asked the cops to pull over so he could smack one of them in the face with his penis.

“Wasted Craig” is hilarious! Unfortunately, the cops didn’t think so.

NEXT: Angry Telemarketer Causes Bomb Scare

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