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Old Lady Who Destroyed Jesus Painting Wants Money…Because It’s Become a Tourist Attraction [PHOTO]

Last month, Santuario de Misericordia church in Borja, Spain, was in the news. They were planning to restore a painting of Jesus on their walls by a 19th-century painter named Elias Garcia Martinez, but things went horribly wrong when a parishioner took it upon herself to restore the painting. She sucked so bad everybody's been going to the church to see the suckiness. So now she wants money!

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4028mdk09/Wikimedia Commons
4028mdk09/Wikimedia Commons
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Florida Farmhand Busted for Having Sex With Donkey, Says Florida “Backwards” for Banning It [PHOTO]

A 31-year-old farmhand in Florida was busted after witnesses saw him having sex with a miniature donkey. Eddie Murphy had no comment. But seriously, the farmhand told the cops he thinks it's fine and the state of Florida is, quote, "backwards people frown on zoophilia here." He was arrested and possibly gave one of the creepiest mugshots in recent memory.

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Monster and Jack Sparrow
Monster and Jack Sparrow
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It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day! [Photo]

Today is September 19th, and that means that it's Talk Like a Pirate Day! That's right, Tis be the day to say "arrr." 

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Cohen Stadium
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Steve Kaplowitz Makes 2 Utterly Insane Points While Discussing the Downtown Ballpark!

While appearing on the KLAQ Morning Show today, Steve Kaplowitz dropped a couple of doozies, even by Kaplowitz standards.

First, he said that "since the Mountain Star Group has pledged to give proceeds to local charities, people who are against the ballpark are really anti-charity"!!

Wow

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Born_Loser_1
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‘Born Loser’ El Paso Style – Comic Strips Localized

When, exactly, did newspaper comic strips cease to be funny or amusing in any way?  I haven't so much a chuckled at a comic strip since they quit making "Far Side".  So, I've made it my mission to take comic strips and make them either A.) hilarious, B.) profane, or C.) local.

Today, we're going with local. You can see the original strip here.

Click on the jump to view my improvements.

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Twitter
Twitter
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Should You Vote? We Want Your Vote! [POLL]

Buzz went off again today on just how much your vote doesn't count, especially in the national elections. Not only does he believe it's useless, he's kind of like an anti-Uncle Sam -- he DOESN'T want you, especially if it took a Hip-Hop star to get you to the polls.

Is Buzz full of it? VOTE, then tell us your opinion on Facebook!

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Hate_Posting
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WTH(eck), El Paso?!? (photo)

I frequently come across photos taken in El Paso that make me say, "What the Heck, El Paso!?!"

About this photo (click "read more" to see), my Facebook friend Jose wrote, "Lol.... I was wondering what the line was for since they had some bad ass rides outside. Lol....

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Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
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Ex-OU, Cowboys Coach Barry Switzer on OU-UTEP, Twitter, Charles Haley & Penn State [AUDIO]

The Morning Show had a great -- and wide-ranging -- talk with former Oklahoma and Cowboys head coach Barry Switzer.

One of only two coaches to win both a Vince Lombardi Trophy and a college national championship (Jimmy Johnson was the other), Switzer didn't shy away from controversial subjects

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Vargas taking great care not to appear on camera. Please ignore the multiple pictures of him hanging on the wall in the center of the shot.
Vargas taking great care not to appear on camera. Please ignore the multiple pictures of him hanging on the wall in the center of the shot.
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Why I Lost a Bet To My Boss and Had to Buy Him a Bottle of Tequila

 

I made a bet last week with Program Director Kevin Vargas.  That's him on the left. Little known fact: Kevin Vargas was born with a disability. He is a disembodied hand, like Cousin Itt from the Addams Family.

You're probably wondering what the bet was.

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Miguel Tovar/Getty Images
Miguel Tovar/Getty Images
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An American Original: U.S. Defeats Mexico in Azteca, 1-0…In Soccer [OPINION/PHOTO]

No way it was going to happen Wednesday night. Just no way.

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McKayla is NOT Impressed with El Paso
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McKayla is NOT Impressed With El Paso or the KLAQ Morning Show

US gymnast McKayla Maroney was NOT impressed with earning the silver medal in Sunday's Olympics vault competition, as is evidenced by her face at the medal ceremony, which quickly became an Internet meme. Earning silver isn't the only thing McKayla is unimpressed with. McKayla is apparently also NOT impressed with El Paso or the KLAQ Morning Show. Check out what I found leaving the gymnast less than enthused around El Paso:

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Fernie Chi-Chis
KLAQ
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50 Shades of Gay: Fernie Reviews Chi-Chis of the Day [VIDEO]

We love Scott's Chi's Chi's of the Day feature. From time to time, we ask Fernie to come in and give his analysis of the photos. He notices things that no other guy would pick up on.

What follows is a mash-up of Fernie (and Stephanie the Corporate Computer Babe's) unlikely (have you ever heard breasts get compared to elephant feet?) comments matched up to the chi-chis we talked about. Click below to see this awesome video!

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