The Great River Raft Race is this Sunday and, as I’ve done before, I made a trip down to the Rio Grande (Spanish for “River Grand”) to check the conditions.

The good news? The river has lots of water in it! The bad news: it looks like Smaug’s diarrhea. Photos of my exploits are below. The water is chin-deep in some areas (I’m 6’1”). The current is quite strong in places. Oh, and it’s latte colored.

Enjoy the pictures of what looks like me drowning in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate River and then be sure to pay $20 bucks so you can live the adventure yourself this Sunday at the Great River Raft Race.