Help Wanted: Adult Film Company is Looking For Writers [UPDATED]

There are a handful of dream jobs out there – personal lotion applicator to Kate Upton, nipple puffer for Bar Refaeli, masseuse for John Travolta… wait, what? But, one of the most underrated professions has to be Adult Film Writer.

The porn movie industry has long been known for having horrific dialogue delivered by subpar actors who argue their performances are crap because the writing is crap. Recently, an ad popped up on Craigslist looking for a freelance “Adult Film Dialogue / Plot Writer” for both “new, fresh sexual encounter lead ins, as well as some of the old favorites”. You mean, like Betty White? The ad said it was posted on behalf of the adult movie company Brazzers.

To apply, you just have to submit your resume and a 1-3 page writing sample of an adult film lead in. The pay’s not too shabby either – $500 – $1000 per project, which ranges from one to five minutes on screen. It’s too bad they don’t pay by word, we’d be millionaires – “Oh yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Harder! Faster! Harder! Yes! Oh God, yes! Oh my God! Oh! Oh!”

Representatives from Brazzers reached out to us and stated that the ad was not placed by anyone in their company. We’re completely bummed out now.

Anyone want to take a look at a spec script for ‘Men in Back III’?