Bad 80's hair? Check. Bad music? Check. Managing to sound old, uncool and sad while trying desperately to appeal to youthful viewers? Worse than me talking to my teenage daughters. That's a big CHECK for this plain weird anti-arson PSA.

Oh, yeah, you read that right -- anti-arson! Not anti-drug or anti-bullying or anti-anything that LOTS of kids might try to do. Anti-something that probably a tenth of one percent of the population of stupid teenagers might attempt.

As a child of the 1980's, I feel compelled to point out to the bubble-wrapped generation that, yes, there was plenty of bullying, pot-smoking and underage alcohol consumption taking place in the days of butt-cuts and leaded gasoline. Many of my high school buddies would be capable of a few thousand different acts of stupidity, but they drew the line somewhere just beyond putting a popular restaurant mascot on top of the gym and painting it in school colors.

Freaking arson?! No way!

Anyone who would set fires probably has mental and emotional issues that run deeper than a tragically un-hip PSA would be able to unravel, too. So, yeah, way to use that taxpayer money, California!

Cali, huh? Suddenly it all makes perfect sense!