Word has it that Nintendo only went with Kid Icarus: Uprising as the subtitle for its new Kid Icarus 3DS game only after ‘Wristbreaker,’ ‘Carpal Tunnel Provider’ and ‘What the Eff is Up With These Controls?’ options didn’t test well in focus groups.
Like a grizzled veteran who rocks a shelf full of MVP trophies and is unthreatened by any up-and-comers on the farm system, ‘MLB 12: The Show‘ no longer has the eye of the tiger. Instead, it just coasts, does the awesome things you expect it to do and calls it a day.
‘Street Fighter X Tekken’ reminds us of that bathtub scene in Billy Madison when Adam Sandler pits a bottle of shampoo and conditioner in a deathmatch. It’s nearly as ridiculous a proposition — and somehow just as fitting — to pit the two-dimensional, projectile-happy Street Fighters against the 3D shuffle-meisters from the world of Tekken.
The new trend is for game publishers with just-crazy-enough-to-work sequel ideas to release the games as bite-sized, stand-alone downloads that look and feel just like the disc-based games. That’s how ‘Red Dead Redemption’s’ straight-shooting cowboy John Marston ended up tangling with zombies in ‘Undead Nightmare’ and superhuman rail-surfer Cole Phelps of Infamous infamy ended up becoming a vampire in Festival of Blood.
When you’re pinned to the canvas with knuckles in your ribs, a knee in your kidney and hundreds of pounds of sweaty man-flesh urging you to tap out before you lose consciousness, it’s definitely time to re-evaluate what you’re doing.
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