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Lisa Sanchez

I sprang from my mother’s womb decades ago in a city even hotter than this scorching desert: Palm Springs, Ca. A city filled with gays, old people, and old gays. This is why you can catch me at any gay bar or early bird special in town, but make no mistake gentlemen- I am straight. At 10 yrs old, my mom enrolled me in ballet to turn me into a lady, but it didn't work. Instead, I got my first taste of metal hearing Rammenstein’s “Du Hast” during a break in class. It was like seeing a unicorn mating with a Pegasus. I have been rocking at Warped Tour, Coachellafest and every hardcore show I could in SoCal. I came to finish school at NMSU because I wasn’t into selling my body on a street corner to afford college in California. Being loud and talkative didn’t make me a good server, but it did help catch Courtney Nelson’s ear when he came in. Instead of being a bad tipper, he offered an internship working at the most kick ass radio station, KLAQ. From there, Kevin Vargas added me on to the Morning Show to harass Buzz Adams everyday. Games On!!!
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Best Way To Teach Daughter To Wear Longer Shorts

I never got this lecture in high school but my sister did almost everyday- WEAR LONGER SHORTS! "You're giving away the milk before he buys the cow," my mother used to tell her. Nothing worked for her no matter what my parents said. Well, this dad may have found the perfect way to show her how embarrassing they can be. You could try it too dads out there!

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Category: Humor

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