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Buzz Adams

Miguel de Montague "Buzz" Adams was born in 1992, the last in the noble Merovingian bloodline. As an infant, the young heir-apparent was kidnapped by Sardinian  pirates and spent his formative years pillaging the high seas and eventually becoming the world's most deadly sword-fighter.  In his late teens, Buzz entered a Tibetan monastery where he learned to levitate and mind-read. He also invented time-travel. After solving Fermat's Last Theorem at Cambridge in 1991, Adams relocated to El Paso, Texas where he has worked for KLAQ ever since. Buzz Adams was recently told to update his on-line bio and knows that no one in management will bother to check his work.
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AUDIO: Torturing Telemarketers-Dookie in the Tub

As Alec Baldwin's character Blake said in Glengarry Glen Ross, the secret to being a salesman is A.B.C.  A-always. B-be. C-closing. A.B.C.. Always be closing.

Listen to this week's Torturing Telemarketers and notice the guy's dedication to this sales ethos. He's not phased by anything. All he's focused on is A.B.C.

Click the jump link, below, to hear the audio...

 

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AUDIO: 9 Facts You Didn’t Know About U.S. Presidents

Happy Presidents Day!

There are certain presidential facts that every schoolchild knows. Washington was our first president. Reagan was a movie star. Lincoln was the president with the biggest wang. But, there are other facts that are a bit more obscure. Listen to the audio of today's list of "9 Facts that you Didn't Know About U.S. Presidents"...

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AUDIO: What’s the Difference???

Once a week we play a game called "What's the Difference???".  I'll give you two items and see if you can spot the subtle differences.

For example:

What's the difference between a restaurant and a whorehouse?

To find out the answer to that one and many more, click on the jump link below to hear the audio from this morning's show....

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AUDIO: Scott Baio Ranks the Post-Happy Days Success of the Main Stars

We interviewed Scott Baio today. He talked about his new family show on Nick at Nite. If you've ever read anything about Scott Baio's legendary dating history, you'll know that's like naming Jenna Jameson as the new host of Romper Room.

Also, we got Scott to rank his fellow Happy Days stars in order of greatest to least post-Happy Days success.

To listen to the audio with Scott Baio, click on the jump link, below.

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Happy Walking Dead Valentine’s (Courtesy of Etsy)

Etsy, if you've never checked it out, is an awesome website. It's a place where artisans, designers, creative types and other assorted weirdos go to sell their original creations. Want a TShirt featuring fugitive L.A. cop Christopher Dorner? Etsy's got that. How about a pocket mirror with an image of Jesus gently cradling a velociraptor in his arms? Etsy's got you covered there too.

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"Adios, bitches."
"Adios, bitches."
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(AUDIO) “I Know the REAL Reason(s) the Pope Resigned!!”

In the first time since before Columbus was even born, the Pope has decided to resign. There's a lot of speculation over who will be the next Pope and many people think he might be African or South America...both scenarios, I imagine, which would horrify Mel Gibson.

There's also a lot of conjecture over the reasons for the Pope's retirement. Age and health seem to be what the Vatican is putting out as the official version.

However, I know the real reason the Pope is retiring. Click on the jump link, below, if you want to know the real scoop...

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(AUDIO) Torturing Telemarketers: Bedroom Remodeling

Here's another Torturing Telemarketers call. A couple things to note while listening to this one.

1.) The telemarketer puts his supervisor on to help and the supervisor's English is way worse than the first guy's.

2.) The supervisor ends the pitch by saying "All I can do is pray for you and your wife".

Click on the jump, below, to listen to the audio....

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(VIDEO) Another Reason to See Joey Medina this Week at the El Paso Comic Strip

Joey Medina, one of the original Latin Kings of Comedy, was our guest in the studio and he's appearing this week at the El Paso Comic Strip.

Joey has his own version of the Insanity Workout. It's the Get Retarded Workout. To see the video, click to the next page, below...

 

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(AUDIO) Nostradumbass: Super Bowl Re-Cap Edition

It seemed like all of his feats of pre-cognition had a theme today...The Super Bowl!

Listen as the Great Nostradumbass once again amazes us with his uncanny psychic abilities.

To hear the audio, click "read more" to jump to the next page...

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Are You Freakin’ Kidding Me? No Spoiler Alert When We Talked About Super Bowl This Morning?!?!

This is a Facebook post on my wall today from someone who was upset that we talked about the Super Bowl without giving a Spoiler Alert.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?

 

 

I'm only going to do these "Are You Freakin' Kidding Me" posts in cases where I actually think the person, because of the extreme ridiculousness of their concern, may, in fact, be joking around. For the purposes of these posts I shall as

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