Hi, Internet! I'm Buzz Adams and I've been the host of the Morning Show for a long time. When I started, OJ was a beloved former athlete, Bruce Jenner was the epitome of masculinity and Donald Trump was a laughable ass-clown. The point is, some things change but other things don't so much. One thing that hasn't changed are my hobbies. My hobbies today are the same as they were all those years ago. Here they are, starting at number one. SLEEPING: It's the one thing I really look forward to. I'll wake up from a four hour nap and immediately start fantasizing about turning in for the night. I've really elevated sleeping to an art form. WATCHING TV: There are a few show I like but, really, I'm just watching to help me fall asleep. TAKING SLEEPING PILLS AND THEN ORDERING STUFF ONLINE : This is really fun and you should try it. I pop a couple Lunesta, wash it down with some purple drank, then, a few days later, stuff shows up for me in the mail. The best part? I have NO IDEA what it's going to be when I open it! It's like getting a Christmas present from someone who knows exactly the kind of stuff you like but who has no concept of "restraint" or "good judgement." I got some really awesome beard oil from ETSY the other day. And I don't currently have a beard! I am presently single, if I haven't tipped my hand already. I'll totally understand if you swipe left on this bio.
They’re Now Deep Faking Trump and Hillary
Thankfully…THANKFULLY…not the porn version.
El Paso Near Top of Safest Cities…AGAIN
Year after year El Paso is at or near the top of the list of Safest Large Cities in the U.S. It shows no signs of slipping from those lofty positions.
Fergie Could Learn How to Sing the National Anthem from These Celebs
On Sunday she did a bizarre, off-key jazz interpretation of The Star Spangled Banner. Let’s just say “Peas” aren’t the only ones with black eyes after this debacle.
Can You Guess These Celebrity Valentine Poems?
Play along and see if you can identify who the Valentine is either to or from based on the clues in the poem.
Senate Candidate Uses the “F” Word. A LOT.
Seriously, it’s enough of a known phenomenon that The Texas Tribune has made a compilation video.
When Ski Ballet Was an Olympic Thing
Ski ballet. Just think about that for a minute. What do you even think ski ballet could be?? Trust me, whatever you’re imagining is no where near as silly as the reality.
What MLK REALLY Thought About Car Commercials
The true irony, though, is that the speech in question actually goes on to pointedly criticize excessive consumerism and, amazingly, the dangers of being lured in BY CAR COMMERCIALS!
Trump Adviser: You Don’t Need No Flu Shot. You Need a Jesus Shot
She’s not Jenny McCarthy but she is blonde, sexy and doesn’t believe in mumbo-jumbo like “science” or “sound medical practices”.
How Many Holes Does a Straw Have? The Video Evidence
A question threatens to rip the internet apart and this time it isn’t about whether that dress is blue or gold. The stakes are much higher this time. We are a people divided.
When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Waffles
What are you going to do? You try to put it out of your mind. You try to find succor in the sweet arms of slumber. But, no matter what you do, you can’t stop thinking about waffles.
Trump’s SOTU Speech in Only 3 Minutes
Quickly, here are a few of my notes I jotted down while watching the State of the Union last night
Mr. Miyagi Resigns After Hawaiian Nuclear Fiasco
According to the findings of an official report the employee who made the mistake had been “a source of concern for over a decade because of poor performance”.