Hi, Internet! I'm Buzz Adams and I've been the host of the Morning Show for a long time. When I started, OJ was a beloved former athlete, Bruce Jenner was the epitome of masculinity and Donald Trump was a laughable ass-clown. The point is, some things change but other things don't so much. One thing that hasn't changed are my hobbies. My hobbies today are the same as they were all those years ago. Here they are, starting at number one. SLEEPING: It's the one thing I really look forward to. I'll wake up from a four hour nap and immediately start fantasizing about turning in for the night. I've really elevated sleeping to an art form. WATCHING TV: There are a few show I like but, really, I'm just watching to help me fall asleep. TAKING SLEEPING PILLS AND THEN ORDERING STUFF ONLINE : This is really fun and you should try it. I pop a couple Lunesta, wash it down with some purple drank, then, a few days later, stuff shows up for me in the mail. The best part? I have NO IDEA what it's going to be when I open it! It's like getting a Christmas present from someone who knows exactly the kind of stuff you like but who has no concept of "restraint" or "good judgement." I got some really awesome beard oil from ETSY the other day. And I don't currently have a beard! I am presently single, if I haven't tipped my hand already. I'll totally understand if you swipe left on this bio.
Five-Year-Old Basketball Expert Helps Us With Our NCAA Bracket
Benny Kaplowitz, five-year-old basketball expert, gives his March Madness picks. He's some kind of prodigy.
Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld Picks Mike Patton Over Anthony Kiedis
Some of the topics we covered with "The Gut" include his hatred of going to movie theaters in New York City and our mutual preference for Mike Patton of Faith No More over Anthony Kiedis of The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Willie Barcena Plays ‘Are You Smarter Than a Pornstar’ with Alexis Texas
So, who will win? A professional comedian or a professional porn star?
Kids Crash Live Interview for Funniest Thing Ever on the BBC
The best thing about this video is that the comedic timing of everything going on is absolutely perfect. It's the kind of thing that talented actors rehearse for hours to get down pat.
Do You Eat Toast Like a Normal Person?
Toast. It's complicated. Also, here's a video of Heywood Banks, performing "Toast."
Tomorrow is A Day Without a (Privileged) Woman
I predict some poor cleaning woman or waitress will get fired because they made the mistake of believing this event was for them.
Education Reformer Mark Chelgren Got “Degree” from Sizzler
In reality, Chelgren's "degree" is actually a training certificate from a chain restaurant. I guess working in a "steakhouse" is sort of like working in the "statehouse"?
We Got Comedian Nico Adjemian Drunk at Mardi Gras — For Science
Nico took one for the team by getting hammered at Mardi Gras so we could try to fix him the next morning with an IV drip. See how it worked...
Feds Say No to Sex Change Drugs For Illegal Transgender
If you're transgender, you may not want to get arrested any time soon.
28 Things Donald Trump is the Absolute Best At
This just in, people! Donald Trump is actually the best at over two dozen things.
POINT — Horrifying Trump Relevation — Likes His Steak WELL-DONE with KETCHUP
If these reports turn out to be true, I believe impeachment will be the only recourse.
Buzz Adams’ Final Thoughts Before the 89th Annual Academy Awards
Before I leave for L.A. to attend the Oscars with my secret side-piece Natalie Portman, I wanted to post a few quick, parting thoughts.