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Morning Show’s Balloonfest Etiquette Guide

” Gay parenting rocks!!!”

In the past week I have received multiple (2) requests to re-play Real El Paso Heroes: Balloonfest Etiquette Breakers.

I’m happy to oblige. So here it is. Listen, enjoy, and hopefully learn a valuable lesson:

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Today, we salute you, Balloonfest Etiquette Breakers.

Every year, For the Memorial Day Weekend you can be found at Wet ‘N Wild, eating, watching bands, frolicking in the crystal clear waters of the Rio Grande and showing your support for your favorite radio station.

Over there, by the Budweiser tent is the lady wearing the same bikini she wore before she had four kids. Your swimwear leaves little to the imagination, but it does remind us we were supposed to pick up cottage cheese at the grocery store on the way home. And that butterfly tattoo you got on your back when you were 19 is starting to look like something Godzilla would fight in a 1960s Japanese movie.

And over there, staking out his spot for the mosh pit seven hours before the band is scheduled to go on, it’s Mr. Lobster Red G.I. Guy. Thank you for serving your country. In return, let us serve you. With a good dollop of spy 90 sunscreen. Seriously, Mr. Lobster Red G.I. Guy, you better hope you aren’t deployed soon. You’d have as much luck trying to camouflage a firetruck.

And look, it’s our old friend, Mr. Save an Entire Acre of Picnic Tables. By all appearances, you are here by yourself. You have no supplies. But for some reason you feel the need to reserve nine large wooden picnic tables, which you do by placing one article of clothing on each table and arranging them like a covered wagon train preparing for an Indian attack. Are you optimistic or just obsessive compulsive?

So here’s to you, Balloonfest Etiquette Breakers — along with Ms. Who Needs a Babysitter When You Have a Waterpark and Mr. Buy A $4 Beer So You Can Throw It At The Band — for you are all real El Paso Heroes.



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