20 Life Lessons I Learned From Breaking Bad
The final episode of Breaking Bad has aired. Walt’s cancer went in to remission, he reconciled with his family and the DEA gave him a full pardon. Oh, yeah…SPOILER ALERT.
In the aftermath I can’t help but feel that Breaking Bad has taught me a lot. And not just about cooking meth, although I do expect that to come in handy when I’m eventually fired for not blogging enough. So, here are the 20 Life Lessons I Learned From Breaking Bad…
1.) Teachers should be paid more.
2.) Teachers have crappy health insurance
3.) Never cross a High School science teacher
4.) Chemistry is the high school subject with the most criminal applications. You can’t become a drug lord using geometry
5.) Barrels roll.
6.) A man provides for his family.
7.) If a couple of Billionaires offer to pay for your cancer treatment, let them.
8.) Don’t leave the key in the ignition.
9.) It doesn’t pay to be Jesse Pinkman’s girlfriend.
10.)Don’t sleep on your back after doing heroin.
11.)Never trust a guy who looks like Opie.
12.)A volumetric flask is for general mixing and titration. You wouldn’t apply heat to a volumetric flask. That’s what a boiling flask is for.
13.) Real criminals meet in the mall, not in isolated junk yards
14.) If you’re planning to hide out in a rural New Hampshire cabin for a couple of months, bring your own DVDs.
15.) Although it might seem like a good idea at the time, you really can’t trust neo-Nazi’s
16.) Never do business with someone who’s first reaction when something goes wrong is to kill everyone that’s seen her face.
17.) When the going gets tough, you want a criminal lawyer. When the going gets really tough you want a lawyer who’s a criminal. Call Saul.
18.) Don’t tell criminals where your money is buried. They will take it from you.
19.) Don’t be a creature of habit. For instance, don’t put Stevia in you tea every time. Mix it up. Use the sugar or Splenda from time to time.
20.) If you’re going to execute someone, don’t dilly dally. Do it as soon as you can. Even if they say, “Wait!”